


i don't want to live in a world without you

by WattStalf



Series: Commissions [90]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Crimson Flower, F/M, Fix-It, Grief/Mourning, Incest, Jeralt doesn't die, Nipple Play, Reunions, Rough Sex, Timeskip, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, commission
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:01:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 26,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23033650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WattStalf/pseuds/WattStalf
Summary: Byleth manages to save her father's life, and clings to him after, because she would be lost without him. He is so much more than just family to her, and she doesn't know what she would do if she really lose him. She becomes determined to protect him, but there is a war brewing, and while deciding which side she falls on, she forgets to protect herself, and then...Five years later, she returns, as if no time has passed at all.
Relationships: Jeralt Reus Eisner/My Unit | Byleth
Series: Commissions [90]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1325462
Comments: 3
Kudos: 73





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> awww yeaaa boi let's hop in for the long haul on the incest train

Byleth stays right by his side through the night, waiting for him to wake up again. Manuela has promised her that he will wake up again, and even told her that she does not have to stay with him, but she does appreciate Byleth’s willingness to watch over Jeralt while she gets some sleep. It’s been a busy day for her, and she has completely exhausted herself trying to make sure that he does not slip away from them.

He could have died today. Or, he did, for a second there, or Byleth thinks he would have, but she used what power she had to try and reset things, to try and prevent it. It was not enough to save him  _ completely _ , but it was enough to save him, and her father managed to make it out with a near-fatal wound. Today’s villains escaped, but right now, all that matters to Byleth is that her father is alright, that he’s breathing and that he’s going to wake up.

Manuela has managed to heal him as much as her magic will allow, and completely exhausted herself in the process. He is still looking at quite the recovery time, but that beats what he would be looking at without her help. Perhaps he would not be looking at anything at all, but Byleth was able to stop the bleeding on her own, once “Monica” had been driven off.

And now she has to wait for him to wake up, so that she can see for herself that he’s okay. She isn’t as gifted a healer as Manuela, or even some of her students, but she is going to stay right by his side and do anything and everything in her power to make sure that he wakes up and that he’s okay. Byleth absolutely refuses to lose him, because he is all that she has in the world.

Realistically, she knows that that is not true. She has her job here and she has her students. If Jeralt had died today, she would be taken care of by the church. Though she is not sure about Rhea, and becomes less sure about her every day, she has a feeling that, if she had been orphaned today, she could have counted on the church to always look after her. Jeralt isn’t  _ everything _ that she has in the world, but Byleth knows that without him, life would hardly feel worth living.

She loves her father far too much; she’s known that for a few years now, but things did not start to escalate until recently. When they came here and everything in her life began to change, when she realized that he, her only constant, had begun drifting away from her with work, she couldn’t help herself. And she’s changed a lot since their time on the road, her childhood that she hardly remembers and her young adult years, standing at his side as an emotionless mercenary.

She’s changed a lot, and those changes allowed her to act on her feelings, something that she had never done before. That night, she’d allowed herself to kiss him and then, just like that, she brought him back to her. Except, just like that, everything had changed again, but this time, it was a change that she welcomed. Her father became more than just her father to her, and if he had died today, she would not have just lost her family, but her love as well. Her other half.

Of course, she knows that it’s unusual. She may have grown up isolated, but she understands how family is supposed to work, and she understands that familial love and romantic love are supposed to be two very separate things. She also understands that lust should not factor into familial love at all, but sometimes, when she trais with him, she wonders how she is supposed to feel anything  _ but _ lust.

Now that their relationship has turned physical, it becomes at once easier and more difficult to communicate with him. When she struggles to express herself verbally, she takes him to bed, sneaking off with him to hopefully show him with her body but, at the same time, he can use her weakness for him against her, which she knows is hardly fair, but in the moment, it is hard to realize that’s what’s happening and to tell him off for it.

He has always kept secrets from her, but before she came here, she never really thought about them, and never wanted to ask questions. Before recently, she didn’t know anything about where she came from and didn’t care about that either. Now, she finds herself overflowing with questions, and always, he redirects her attention somehow, usually by using her desires to distract her. Byleth falls for it every time.

Today, she nearly lost her chance to get answers from him for good, and she doesn’t even care about that part right now. Right now, she decides that he could lie to her for the rest of her life, that he could always use sex to escape answering questions, and she could go on forever knowing absolutely nothing, just as long as he was there with her, to lie to her and distract her and dodge all the important questions. When it’s life or death, the “important questions” don’t seem nearly so important anymore.

Byleth’s thoughts begin to drift more and more, steadily becoming abstract. In the back of her mind, a familiar voice yawns and reminds her that she’s supposed to be staying awake to watch him. She knows that, of course she does, and she’s going to stay awake, it’s just that her head is so heavy, she just wants to droop for a minute and then…

~X~

When she wakes up, jerking up suddenly, Jeralt is already awake, and he gives her a weak smile. “Hey, kid,” he says. “You must have been tired, huh?”

She doesn’t answer. Instead, she stands as quickly she can, stumbling immediately and coming to rest right on top of him, kneeling beside the bed and laying her head on his chest. He groans softly and she thinks that she should get up, that she might be hurting him worse, but then she’s crying again, and she can’t move. Jeralt pats her on the back of her head and says, “Come on, you don’t need to cry for me again, do ya? Never saw you cry before today, and now it’s like a waterfall.”

“You can’t leave me,” she says, her voice breaking as she does. “You can never, ever leave me.”

“I’m not planning on it,” he replies. “Come on, you know I’m durable.”

“Don’t try and make jokes. Not now. Just...I can’t...I really can’t lose you, I can’t…”

“You’re not going to lose me, Byleth. You’re not going to lose me.” He says it as if it’s a definite, and before today, she would have taken comfort in the steady, confident way that he promises her, but after today, she knows that he can’t actually promise her shit. If it weren’t for her quick thinking, if it weren’t for divine powers that she probably shouldn’t even have to begin with, she would have lost him. He has no way of knowing what is to come, and today has proven that there are those out there strong enough to take him away from her.

She just has to get even stronger, somehow, and make sure that that never comes to pass. Sobbing into his chest, she wills herself to stop crying, to return to the strong, stoic daughter he has always known. Something about this place has slowly broken down her walls, and being in a relationship with Jeralt has only caused them to crumble faster. Byleth barely recognizes herself sometimes.

Before she even realizes it, she is already on top of him, hoping that he will tell her if she’s hurting him, if he’s too hurt or tired to go through with this. But she can’t lose him, and she needs to know that he’s here and that he’s real, needs to remind herself that he is alive and with her. Nothing is ever going to take him away from her. She will keep him here forever if she has to, she will become strong enough to protect him if she has to, and they will always be together. No longer will she rely on him; now, she will be the one that he relies on.

“I love you,” she breathes, her voice barely audible, her tears falling on his face as she looks down at him. Jeralt just keeps giving her that same soothing smile as he makes her promises that she knows he has no right to make, because he has no way of ensuring that he actually keeps them.

“I love you too, kid. You’re my whole world.”

Her clothes come off quickly, and she helps him out of what little he’s wearing now, climbing under the thin infirmary blanket with him. Manuela will not be back until morning, and it is still dark outside. Knowing Manuela, it will be daylight for some time before she manages to wake up, so they have time. Right now, Byleth does not even care about time. So what if it’s wrong for her to fuck her father? So what if their whole relationship is “wrong”? She almost lost him today, and nothing else in the world seems to matter but trying to become one with him, trying to erase the space between him. She needs to feel his flesh against hers.

She needs to remind her body that he is still alive, because as she sat by his side through the night, she began to feel the ache of missing him, as if he were already gone.

This is all so familiar to her now, the way he fits inside of her almost perfectly. From how many times they have done this, one might think it would get old, but it never does. It only becomes more comfortable, as if serving to remind Byleth that this is where she belongs, that this is what she should have been doing all along. She loves her father and she is in love with her father.

He holds onto her hips, his hands strong and rough and reassuring as he pulls her onto his cock, and her breath catches in her throat. Though they have plenty of time, they still have to be quiet. Just because they have the infirmary to themselves does not mean there might not be someone wandering the halls, even at this hour of the night, and the last thing they need right now is to be overhead.

At least, she is sure that that is what Jeralt would say to her, if he could bring himself to speak right now. Byleth is still not entirely sure that she cares about any of that, that it is worth it to keep this a secret if it means staying off of him for a moment longer, but she knows that he would want her to stay quiet, so she does. No matter how much she may need this, right away, enough to risk getting caught and not care, she decides that it is still better if she doesn’t go out of her way to add to that risk.

So she gasps and swallows her moans as she rides him, bouncing on his lap, working her hips against his, frantic and needy, desperate for all of him and more, desperate to have him and to keep him this time, and to never let him go again. She lays down on him and lets him fuck her, driving up into her with his confident thrusts, only faltering to wince a few times, and keeping his arms wrapped around her the whole time.

With her body pressed tight against his, her tears soaking his shoulder, and his reassuring words murmured directly into her ear, she starts to feel whole again. She feels whole because he is whole, because he is still here, and he is holding her, just like he always does. Just like he always will, just as long as she makes sure that no one and nothing is ever able to take him away from her. He is at least okay for now, and her world continues to turn, held safe in her father’s arms, just like she knows she is always meant to be.

There is a desperate passion in the way they fuck that night, yet it feels relaxed somehow, and his attempts to comfort her show through. Neither one of them last very long like this, with Byleth coming first, biting her lip to keep herself muffled, and Jeralt following close behind, a soft groan on his lips as he gives on last, weak thrust into her.

She doesn’t allow herself to fall asleep this time, both because she does not want to risk sleeping too late and getting caught with him like this, but because she wants to be able to spend this time with him. He falls asleep not long after they finish, but she doesn’t mind that. His hand rests on the small of her back, where he had been patting her right up until he drifted off, and she feels safe and comfortable.

Like this, he can get the rest that he needs, and she can watch over him, keeping an eye out for any threats that may lurk. She does not know what she would do if she ever lost him, but she wants to make sure that that never happens. From here on out, Byleth is going to be there for him, and she is going to be the one to protect him.


	2. Chapter 2

Her father is the first one to advise against her going for revenge, before the possibility of revenge has even presented itself to her. He tells her one night, while she is visiting alone with him, that he knows how her mind works and that he can see her thinking about it, and that she shouldn’t do it. Even if he’d died, he assures her that revenge would not be worth it, and in this situation, it is especially not worth the risk.

“You steer clear of anything to do with them,” he tells her. “If anything comes up soon, I guarantee it’s a trap of some sort. They want to lure you out, or to lure me out to finish the job. Either way, neither one of us is going to get involved, got it?”

“But if we don’t, then something even worse might happen,” Byleth argues, and Jeralt shakes his head.

“You need to let the other knights handle it. They’ve been handling things just fine, before we showed up, and they can handle things just fine while we’re out of commission,” he says.

“But I’m  _ not _ out of commission,” she argues.

“But I am, and I’m not letting you go up against them when I’m not even there to protect you. Besides, you have your students to worry about.”

It frustrates her when he tries to talk to her like a parent, especially in situations like this. There are times when it may be comforting, but right now, it is just frustrating, because he talks to her like he can tell her what to do, like she’s crazy for wanting to do the right thing, when he is the one who raised her to be this way. Not only that, but it’s frustrating because he thinks she should not go out without him to protect her, when she was the one who had to save him, and when she is the one who has vowed to protect him from here on out.

Of course, she hasn’t told him about the last bit, so she can understand him not knowing. But she has a feeling that, even if he did know, he would still insist on being the one to take care of her, and that would just frustrate her even more.

Ever since that day, she’s been nothing but frustrated, and so, she ignores his warnings, already planning to seek their enemy out, if she is able to.

Edelgard is the one to come to her with the news, and Byleth prepares to set out, not telling her father about this. He would only try to stop her, or worse, he might try to come after her, and he is still in no condition to be on the battlefield, though he has at least been allowed to return to his own room. She doesn’t tell him anything about it as she gathers her students, who have all volunteered to come with her, and prepares for the oncoming battle.

Naturally, Rhea and Seteth attempt to stop her, but she refuses to back down. It is only her second act of defiance against the archbishop- the first being her refusal to return the Gautier’s relic to her, and then, Sylvain was there to deflect most of Rhea’s ire- but, surprisingly, it does not take long before Rhea backs down, agreeing to let her go. Seteth is less than enthused, even going so far as to insist Flayn not be allowed to accompany the class, but other than that, Byleth sets out without incident.

She hopes that Rhea does not tell her father about this as she and her students (Flayn included, somehow) march their way into what is surely a trap.

~X~

It’s been hard for Byleth to say whether or not she likes Sothis. Sothis has just been something she has had to accept, a part of her that they both know should not be there. The fact that she bore the same name as the goddess, the fact that she caused Byleth to remember things she should not know, and the fact that she has somehow always been with her, are all things that are hard to process, and easier to forget.

She spends a lot of time sniping, more of a nuisance than anything else, and her commentary on Byleth’s feelings for her father was nothing short of scathing. But deep down, Byleth thinks Sothis may have understood, and that is why she was willing to offer her power to help save him. Deep down, there has always been an understanding between them, because they have shared a body.

Now Sothis is no more, or rather, Byleth has become Sothis? Or has Sothis become her? Byleth would have vanished forever, were it not for Sothis, and now the two have become one, and she will never hear her voice again. She and her students escaped with their lives, and she achieved her revenge, but lost something in the process that she is not quite able to put into words, and that she will never be able to explain to anyone.

Her father waits for her at the monastery, and she wants to reach him as soon as possible, but before she can take even a few steps, she has collapsed. When she wakes up again, she is in Rhea’s arms.

~X~

“You are so damned stubborn! I told you not to go running into their trap, and what was the first thing you did? Honestly, don’t you have any sense?” The way Jeralt lectures her leaves Byleth almost missing the lectures she got from Sothis, and she has to disguise the pang she feels when she thinks of the girl and the goddess that she will never see again.

“I had to do it,” she replies, her voice quiet.

“Did you? Because I don’t think you did. Seteth comes rushing in like he blames me for it, telling me you took off with his sister on some suicide mission, and then you come back looking like...like this! What the hell happened to you out there?” He pulls her close, a little rough in his anger, but she doesn’t care that it hurts a little bit, because he’s holding her. Because he’s still here, and so is she.

“I don’t know how to explain it,” she says, and that is true enough.

“I’ve never understood it,” he replies, and she doesn’t know what he’s talking about, or at least, she doesn’t know if he’s talking about what she is thinking about. She has never told him the whole truth about the girl in her head and he has never admitted to anything that he knows.

“I almost died.”

“So did I. We need to stop doing that, huh?” He’s making a joke, and it should be bad timing for a joke, but she pulls him closer and thinks that there isn’t any better time for a joke than right now. He isn’t going to die, and neither is she. She is going to keep protecting him, now and forever.

Monica- Kronya- is dead now, and so is Solon. So is Sothis. Byleth and her father are still alive.

~X~

He’s still angry with her, even if he has eased the tension some, and she accepts that anger, willing to accept any punishment, willing to let him treat her like a child by thinking that he can punish her. Of course, all he does is keep her close, reminding himself that she is alive just as she did with him, his anger slipping through as he fucks her.

They retreat to her room instead of his this time, because he has spent so much time in his own room, barely able to get out since leaving the infirmary. Her room is just as familiar, but he says that he wants to get out and that’s the closest he can get. And then he pins her to her bed and says, “I told you not to go after them, damn it.”

He should be past this by now; he’s made jokes and they walked to her room together like they had nothing to worry about. Either no one notices them walking together or no one cares. It isn’t unusual for a father and daughter to want to spend time together, not after all that they have been through recently, and not after she has just come back from a dangerous mission, looking entirely different, cutting through the air itself just to avenge him.

It doesn’t matter that what they’re doing is unusual for a father and daughter, because nobody knows that that is their goal, because everyone can make their own assumptions about how they will choose to get caught up. And he should be past it by now, but he isn’t and it actually makes sense that he isn’t, and she is happy to let him punish her, and happier to let him fuck her.

He needs to remind himself that she is still here, and he nearly rips her clothes from her body, barely worries about undressing himself, and he sinks into her with hesitating, without bothering to be gentle. Byleth doesn’t want him to be gentle right now, and she likes the way her wrists hurt when he grabs them a little too hard. He loves her and she loves him, and they have both nearly lost each other now. This had been about getting back at the ones who nearly took him from her, but she’s gotten back at him as well, for almost leaving her.

They’re even now, and somewhere in the back of his mind, he probably knows that, and he will probably not stay mad at her for long, once he begins to understand. She loves him so much, and he is all that she has in the world; she is all that he has, and he’s terrified of losing her. He understands her fear, her desperation, why she had to do it, and he can be mad all he wants, just as long as he works his anger out on her and remembers that he has no real reason to be mad.

He is rough with her, jerking his hips against hers, and she tips her head back and does not resist him, not minding the pain that comes with being handled so roughly. She is still sore, still tired from the journey back to the monastery, and the pain reminds her that she is still alive. Perhaps she was afraid of dying too; she was afraid of working so hard to make sure she didn’t lose him, only to be taken away from him, but he is still with her.

Byleth is not alone, even if the voice in the back of her mind is gone now. She no longer has to listen to a voice teasing her for how much she wants her father, a voice that disapproves but encourages her all the same. Sothis understood, even if she claimed she didn’t, and she wanted Byleth to seek revenge as well. She gave herself up so that Byleth could see her father again. Now that she’s gone…

Byleth gives herself over entirely, laying back and letting him fuck her as hard as he wants, surprised when she feels his tears on her face. She lets herself cry then too, something that she never used to do, something that she has only recently learned how to do. No matter what, they are still together, and she is not alone. She feels like she might be going crazy sometimes, or maybe like she already is, but she still has him, and he still has her, and she is going to be okay.

He fucks her until they are both sore, and she is going to be okay.

~X~

Eventually, Byleth starts to return to herself, her thoughts sorting themselves out, as she adjusts to a life without Sothis, and wonders what her new appearance might suggest about her. The church, especially Rhea, treats her like she is something special now, and maybe she is. She doesn’t know if she has become their goddess or not, and doesn’t ask about it.

“I can’t bear to lose you,” her father says to her when her head has cleared up a bit. “Not like I lost her.”

“You said you wanted to talk to me,” Byleth reminds him. She doesn’t know anything about her mother, or how she died, or what her mother had in common with her. “Can’t you tell me now?”

“Not right now,” he replies, and she is frustrated. He’s been putting this off for years, and even now, he continues to put it off. He had promised to tell her soon, and that was before he nearly died, and yet he’s still putting it off.

“Why can’t you just tell me?” she asks. “I want to know about her, and about who I am. Do you know why…”

“Please.” He looks pained while he speaks. “I need more time, I promised before...before all of this. Besides, you have an important mission. Lady Rhea, she wants you to...you shouldn’t distract yourself from that.”

Sometimes, when he talks about Rhea, or when she talks about her upcoming mission, where she is supposed to receive a message from the goddess- but didn’t she already? Isn’t that already over for her?- he looks like he wants to tell her not to go. He looks like he wants to take her by the hand and run, but he never does, and she continues agreeing to what Rhea tells her to do. Something feels like it is growing, something beyond the two of them, and she wonders why they can’t just have time together.

She saved him and she got revenge for him, and so they should be able to rest now. But, then, that means that whatever is growing is something far bigger than just the two of them.


	3. Chapter 3

At the end of the month, Byleth is supposed to receive her holy vision. She still has not found a way to tell Rhea that she does not think any such thing is going to happen. In fact, she still is not sure, and wonders if a secret part of her hopes that this will bring Sothis back to her. Maybe she will return to normal then, and it will be like she never changed to begin with, though she doubts that.

Midway through the month, she goes to speak with Edelgard. For the most part, Byleth has been avoiding conversations outside of class, because she feels on edge with the way people look at her now that she has changed. Those of the church treat her differently, reverently, and her students, who watched her defeat darkness itself, don’t quite seem to know how to treat her. Ordinarily, she would not seek out any of her students, let alone the house leader, but Hubert has been missing all month, and she wants to see if Edelgard knows about that, before she brings it to the church’s attention or tries to get into contact with his family.

“He is attending to important business in the Empire,” Edelgard repliess, her tone serious. “I have to be leaving soon myself. I was going to find you and tell you about my absence. Hubert had promised to do the same, but I guess the fact that you’re asking about him means that he didn’t.”

Byleth shakes her head. “What are you going back home for?” It might not be any of her business, but she asks anyway.

“I was going to ask about that as well. Would you like to come with me, my teacher?”

~X~

When Byleth returns from her brief trip, she goes to her father first thing. She had told him about her departure, and then helped Edelgard create a reason for the two of them to need to go, all without knowing the real reason for her trip. Now that she has returned, she goes straight to Jeralt to tell him what she has seen.

“Edelgard has been crowned,” she says. “Nobody knows about it here yet, but she’s already...she’s the emperor now.”

“Is that what she brought you there for? To oversee it?” he asks. His expression is unreadable, his reaction impossible to gauge.

“Yes. I don’t know what…” She pauses, swallowing before continuing. “I think there’s going to be a war. I think Edelgard intends to go to war.”

“Your student,” he says. “You believe that your student, who has recently been crowned the ruler of one of the three nations of Fodlan, is going to start a war?”

“I do.”

She expects him to say something here, to tell her what she should do, or even to tell her to stay out of it, and let him handle everything. Instead, he asks her, “What are you going to do?”

“I...what do you mean?”

“Exactly what I asked,” says Jeralt. “You know a lot of things that you probably aren’t supposed to. I’m sure she made you promise not to tell anybody, and you decided I didn’t count and came to me. I won’t tell a soul, unless you want me to.”

“But what about…”

“My loyalty to the knights?” He sighs. “Kid, you know things are a hell of a lot more complicated than that. You know that better than anyone now. It’s up to you to decide where you go from here, alright? You’ve been out in the world and you’ve been here, and you’ve seen more than most. This isn’t a decision anyone can make for you.”

“Not long ago, you told me not to go after revenge for you,” she replies. “You had no trouble trying to make decisions for me then.”

“And look what good that did me. You went with your heart then, didn’t you? Even if I had something to tell you now, even if I tried to advise you or tell you outright what to do, I don’t think that would make a difference, once you actually made up your mind,” he says. “So I’m going to leave this one entirely in your hands. She’s your student, this is your class. Whatever you decide, you’ll have me. You’ll always have me.”

For the time being, Byleth decides not to think about it anymore. She accepts his invitation into his bed and loses herself in his warmth and his scent, and does not think about how pitiful Edelgard’s father was, or all of the things that hung unspoken between the two of them. It won’t be long before the former emperor dies, and Edelgard has already taken his place.

Byleth does not think about how that could have- _should have_ - been her, had she not had the power to rewrite time itself, and had not been able to save her father. He should be dead now, and she should be standing tall as a memorial to him. Instead, she is underneath him, letting him kiss her neck as she does not think about all that she has seen, and the decisions that she knows she has to make.

~X~

Edelgard continues to act as if nothing has changed, and Jeralt does not mention anything to Byleth, waiting for her to bring it up again. Byleth does not, and avoids thinking about it, even though she knows that a decision has to be made. She has her mission fast approaching, and after that, she can worry about the impending war.

Or, at least, that should be what happens, but the Holy Tomb is invaded by a group lead by the Flame Emperor. Or, rather, Edelgard wearing the Flame Emperor’s armor. He and Edelgard are one and the same, and the realization, seeming so obvious now, hits Byleth like a slap.

The battle is underway, with Edelgard on the opposite side of the field now, and Byleth moves numbly, directing the rest of her students. She knows what she is supposed to do, she knows what her job is, but she can’t get rid of the feeling that she is doing something wrong by fighting against Edelgard. If she were to voice this out loud, if there were a chance for her to consult Rhea on this, she knows that she would just be told that it is sentimentality, that she is used to fighting  _ with _ her student, not against her, but that, in her heart, she knows the right thing to do.

Byleth knows exactly what Rhea would tell her, and knows that Rhea would have no qualms about giving her direct advice. She would claim to know exactly what was in Byleth’s heart already, and would assure her that following the church would be following the will of the Goddess, and would be doing the right thing. And, even knowing all of this, Byleth can’t make much sense of it.

Her father has told her to do what she thinks is right, whereas Rhea would assure that she already knew that  _ her _ way was right. Jeralt has never quite trusted Rhea, not in all the time that they have been here, and he has history with her that he has not fully shared yet. It is unfair that he has kept secrets even now, secrets that may have helped Byleth in making her decision, but she does not want to choose a side when she does not have all of the information.

As it is, she does not have the option to wait for that. Her father is not here to demand answers from, and even if he were, they would not have the time. Edelgard is driven and determined to finish what she has started, and despite the pain in her eyes, she shows no mercy to her former classmates, to the teacher that she trusted enough to bring home with her.

Byleth already knows what she needs to do. The only problem is she is not yet sure how to do it.

Victory does not come easily, but Edelgard surrenders when she is defeated, wanting to spare as many of her men as she can. She gives herself up to allow for a quick escape, and Byleth orders her students to stand down, deciding that, if Rhea is angry with her for it, she can deal with that later. As for Rhea herself, she is busy dealing with Edelgard, and Byleth is soon at her side, barely able to keep herself from shaking.

The decision she is about to make will change everything, and will ensure that she no longer has a home with the church. After everything everyone has done for her, Byleth is willing to give it all up, because she does not have all of the information, and she is afraid that she will not get all of the information as long as she remains here, under Rhea’s thumb.

Rhea orders her to kill Edelgard.

Byleth refuses.

In a rage, Rhea transforms suddenly, unbelievably. They have witnessed men becoming monsters before, but that is nothing compared to what happens to Rhea. And then Hubert, who has been missing for the duration of the month, is there to whisk Edelgard and Byleth away, while the monster they know as the archbishop continues to rampage.

~X~

Byleth knows that the Flame Emperor was working with Solon, with Kronya. She knows that to choose Edelgard’s side is to choose the side of the people she hates the most, but she remembers the time that the Flame Emperor tried to convince her that he- she, she now knows- had nothing to do with a lot of the things they chose to do, that her control was not absolute, and that the alliance was a tenuous one. She remembers the way Edelgard has chosen, time and again, to trust her, despite Hubert’s warnings and despite likely knowing how much Byleth would despise the group she is allied with.

There must be something more to that, and if Edelgard was willing to show her a top secret coronation, then it is likely that she will be willing to share more information than anyone else has before. She has kept her secrets up until now, but she trusted Byleth, and Byleth took the chance to show her that she trusted her as well. Her father told her to go with her heart, and she knew that what she really wanted was not an option.

If she could not simply avoid conflict altogether and keep him to herself, then she had to make a real decision. Only now is she able to worry if it was the right one, and if she will ever even get to see her father again.

The thought that a choice may have taken him away from her fills her with dread, but she knew the risks when she made her decision. If she has to face him on the battlefield- and she has no doubt that Rhea would want to make him fight her- then she will convince him to follow her, to switch sides. He doesn’t trust Rhea, he’s already told her that much, so if she has a chance to see him again, she will do everything she can to convince him to leave with her.

But it turns out that she has nothing to worry about. Her students soon come to find them, escaping Rhea’s monstrous form so that they can join in the efforts as well. The original Black Eagles are there, and even some of the students who’d started in other classes and requested to transfer into Byleth’s, all here to pledge their loyalty, claiming that, wherever their professor goes, they follow along.

And with her, Leonie has brought Jeralt. She’d gone to him about it, wanting to know what he thought on the subject, and he’d hurried her along, so that they could join with Byleth before it was too late.

“So, this is what we’re doing now, huh?” he asks, and Byleth has to resist the urge to run up to him and throw her arms around him. They try to keep their public affection to a minimum. Byleth has never been very affectionate before, after all, and it would only call attention to their relationship, and make people start asking questions.

“I didn’t know if you would come or not,” she replies.

“I told you already. Whatever you decide, you’ll always have me,” he says. “We’re still mercenaries, aren’t we?”

He says that they are still mercenaries, but what he means is that they are together, and that they will always be together. Having him in front of her, she doesn’t think about the complications that are to come, or how he must feel, knowing who it is that he has chosen to side with. For now, there is no going back on this, and they can only wait for Edelgard’s explanation and her plan of attack.

For better or worse, the two of them have chosen to side with the Empire, and as a result, Byleth’s students have come along with her. She can only hope that this path will give her the answers she is looking for.


	4. Chapter 4

The place where they are temporarily staying before they launch their attack on the monastery does not allow for much privacy at all, certainly not the privacy that Byleth needs to be close with her father. As things are right now, the two of them well have to behave like an ordinary family, because anyone could be watching them at any moment. They will not be able to sneak off for long enough to satisfy their desires, because staying away for too long will cause Edelgard to worry that something has happened to them, and Hubert to worry that they were traitors all along.

So they just talk, in hushed voices off to themselves, letting others in on the conversation as they come along, because Byleth is still a teacher to them, even if her title of professor at Garreg Mach has definitely been revoked. Her students are still worried, especially the ones who followed along because of her, and not because of any loyalty to the empire. A lot of them are making very big decisions based on the trust that they hold for their teacher, above anything else, and Byleth has to be there for them, and make sure that they feel secure in their decision even at a time that she hardly feels secure in anything.

The things that she and Jeralt actually want to discuss are things that they don’t feel like they can discuss with the others, doubts that they do not want anyone to know that they have, questions that they are not sure anyone is going to answer just yet. Or, at least, Byleth has these doubts and questions, while her father continues to insist that he trusts her enough to follow along with any of her decisions, no matter where those decisions may lead the two of them.

But Byleth still wants to ask him if he really is okay with all of this. He knows that Edelgard is the Flame Emperor now, and knows that Byleth knows this and still chose her side. Does he really believe in her so much that he believes in her gut feeling that Edelgard is not the villain in the situation, regardless of the people that she works with? She almost wants Jeralt to be upset with her, to tell her that she is wrong for her choice, though she can’t explain why.

Just the same as how she can’t explain why she feels that her choice was right to begin with, even though she is deciding all of that based on the friendship she has built with Edelgard. Edelgard has kept secrets from her the same as Rhea has, so what reason did she have for choosing one over the other? Perhaps if she could get Jeralt to argue it with her, she could uncover her true reason, and at least understand her choice, even if it didn’t matter in the end.

Because she knows that, if he were to tell her that she was wrong and decide to leave, she would follow him. Even if it went against her newly formed convictions, she would follow him, because he came long before her convictions, and he is all that she has in the world. She has to protect him, after all, and if he were to leave her and face off from the opposite side of this war, she would not be able to do that.

It’s just that she doesn’t understand why she chose a side that doesn’t feel much like protecting him, and why he won’t argue with her, or at the very least, question it.

The people who hurt him may very well be considered their allies now. She has no idea what has happened since the battle with Kronya and Solon, or how many others of their kind there are. She has no idea if Edelgard really meant it when she, as the Flame Emperor, claimed to not agree with some of the things they were doing. But the Edelgard she has gotten to know in school would not agree with those things, and even as she thinks it, she knows that it’s useless, because how can she know for sure who the real Edelgard is?

Still, there is something genuine in the way that she thanks Byleth for choosing her, and even Hubert shows her his appreciation, which has to be a first. It is things like that that make her think she is right, and that she does know more of the true Edelgard than most people do. Things like that make her glad that she chose this side, but it is difficult not to wonder and worry about it when she has her students with her, depending on her for answers, putting their lives on the line for this cause because she said that it was the right one.

Right now, everything is so much bigger than her strange trust in Edelgard, and so much bigger than her relationship with her father, but to Byleth, both were the most important factors in making her decision. The course of history could be changed by her decision, but she made it on a whim, in the heat of the moment, and now she doesn’t even have the privacy to ask the man she loves if she really did the right thing. At the same time, she is left with the knowledge that, even if she did ask, he would probably just agree with her and say that he is only along for the ride.

At this point, she is just along for the ride as well. Soon, the two of them will turn on the monastery that they called their homes, battling side by side against some of their friends, their allies. Byleth still does not know the first thing about her father’s complicated relationship with Rhea, but the two of them may very well meet in battle. Flayn will be there, one of Byleth’s own students, and Seteth and Catherine and Cyril and Gilbert, because not one of them would ever be swayed to this side.

Were they right, or are they sacrificing themselves for the wrong cause?

These are thoughts far more complex than Byleth is used to dealing with, and that is part of why it is so hard to understand the decision. She grew up as a mercenary, and the side hardly mattered, as long as she got her work done. Though she is sure that her father put some moral thought into his employers before he accepted the job, that was not information passed down to her, and so she never cared if she was fighting for right or wrong. She only fought because she was fighting at her father’s side, and that was all that mattered to her.

No matter what she chooses, she is fighting at her father’s side. Without prior experiencing in knowing how to determine if the cause she is fighting for is the right or the wrong one, it only makes sense that she would choose to fight alongside someone that she knows well. She and Edelgard have grown close, and that means that this side makes a little bit of sense to her. Isn’t that why her students chose to follow her as well?

But then, some of them will be turning on their parents, and that is something she is not able to understand, because she can’t understand a familial relationship without the abnormal bond that she shares with her father.

All she is doing is thinking in circles, and getting nothing done in the process. She has not reached any sort of conclusion and doubts that she will like this. If only she and Jeralt could get some time alone, then she would be able to distract herself from these thoughts. If he were holding her right now, if she could lose herself in her desire right now, her decision would not matter in the slightest; she would be able to remember that she has nothing to worry about as long as he is with her, which would put her mind to rest once and for all.

Instead, she is left with her thoughts, running in circles of uncertainty, while she comforts her students and assures them that they have made the right choice and that everything is going to be okay. She may not actually know that, but she knows her role here without anyone having to tell her, and if they have followed her here, then it is her job to reassure them and keep them from doubting themselves.

Eventually, Edelgard wants to discuss strategy with her and Hubert and some of the Empire's generals. Byleth finds herself thrown from her position as a simple teacher to one of Edelgard’s trusted few, able to stand alongside Hubert, who has served her for all of his life. The weight of her decision becomes all the more apparent with each passing moment, but when she is in a position like this, her confidence that it was the correct one grows a little bit.

Other than that, they all need to rest up as they prepare for their march on Garreg Mach, on the place that Byleth has called home for several months. On the place that she and her father have left behind, together. That thought comforts her enough to allow her to sleep, even if he is not able to comfort her. They left together, and they are in this together, no matter what tomorrow may bring.

~X~

The battle is like nothing Byleth has ever experienced before, on a larger scale than anything she faced as a mercenary, with more at stake than anything she ever dealt with as a teacher. This is no skirmish against bandits, nor any personal quest for vengeance- this is war, and she is in the middle of it, leading her students amongst the Adrestian troops, with the only goal on her mind to seize control of the monastery.

Rhea is leading her own troops, the Knights of Seiros answering to her commands and fighting off imperial forces with bravery. Byleth charges through, her father at her side on her orders- and how strange it is to be the one giving orders to him, but she outranks him in this new system- determined to reach Rhea herself. She has a feeling that, if she were to face the archbishop in battle, she would know then that she was right in turning her back on the church.

Her strategy depends on her students covering that for her, all as they battle against the knights they used to pass on the way to class, the faculty that they trained with, and still, none of her students falter. They are just as committed to this as she is, the reality of war not lost on any of them. And with their cover, Byleth and Jeralt are able to progress. He knows what her plans are, and does not comment either way, so she has to wonder how he will feel when they come face to face with Rhea.

But Jeralt is not the sort to let his emotions get the better of him on the battlefield. He is a mercenary, and today his job is to be a soldier under Byleth’s command, so he is a soldier, doing what she tells him to, and nothing less. It is a strange shift in their dynamic, with how much she depends on him, but she finds that she is getting used to it very quickly.

The actual encounter with Rhea passes like a blur, giving Byleth no time to process her feelings outside of a realization, when she makes eye contact with the archbishop, that there was never any choice for her other than this. She intends to tell Jeralt about this feeling when they can be alone again, to ask him what he felt when he saw the look on Rhea’s face.

She should ask him what he thinks about her sudden transformation as well- it should be his first time seeing her turn into the massive beast. In fact, that is the last thing that Byleth thinks, before her father and Edelgard’s cries reach her, before she is knocked unconscious, her world fading to black.


	5. Chapter 5

Years.

That is how long Jeralt has lived without Byleth.

Years, with days that start to blend together, until it is impossible to tell how much time is really passing. It has never been this bad before, not even when he lost Sitri, but that is because he had a purpose then. He had Byleth then, and he does not have her now, and the only reason he is still alive is because he at least wants to see this war through, to see Byleth’s last choice through.

When she was a baby, the only thing on his mind was getting her the hell out of there, getting her away from Rhea’s watch. Jeralt has never understood the archbishop, something that remains true even now that he has fully betrayed her. Back then, he knew something had happened, when Sitri died and when Byleth was born, when Rhea saved his daughter in exchange for his wife.

Before then, even, he had begun to suspect something strange involving Sitri’s circumstances, and it had always been his goal to get her away too, to find a way to make it work without Rhea watching over her. He did not have that chance with his wife, but he did with Byleth, and they escaped together. Years were spent in hiding, building up a new reputation for himself, and in that time, the church probably could have found them, but Rhea was smart enough to keep her distance.

In the meantime, he was not supposed to fall in love with his own child. At first, he tried to convince himself that it was nostalgia, or that he had not properly processed his grief. He saw too much of Sitri in her, and got confused- he should drink less, maybe. But the more time passed, the more he understood that, while she shared in her mother’s beauty and difficulty expressing herself, Byleth was entirely her own person, and even knowing this, even knowing that it was not simply because he saw Sitri in her, Jeralt fell in love with his own daughter.

He never should have gone back to the monastery. If anyone other than Alois had found him, he may have been able to get away again, killing witnesses if he had to, making it look as if the bandits had done it all, and disappeared for a while. But it was Alois, and he could not harm the boy- now a man- who was like family to him. He followed him back, allowing Byleth to fall right back into Rhea’s plans, and began to plan another escape.

But Byleth loved her work as a professor, bonding with the Black Eagle house, and even managing to win over students in other houses, until they were requesting transfers left and right. She was happier than she had ever been, expressing herself more easily and he could not bring himself to take her away from it. He wondered if he should tell her more about her mother, about the past that he had kept hidden, when she first came onto him.

Jeralt had always kept his feelings for her to himself, trying to be a decent father despite his unnatural lust, but when faced with Byleth’s feelings, when forced to accept that her feelings mirrored his, he could not resist her, and no amount of guilt or regret could stop him from letting her back into his bed.

She had become bold, bold enough to take what she wanted from him, and the two were soon closer than they had ever been, knowing to keep their relationship a secret. Everything was starting to fall into place, and his concerns were beginning to fade away, when they got sucked into a plot beyond anything that he could have imagined when trying to protect her from Rhea.

There was a war brewing all along, and one of her students, the house leader and imperial princess Edelgard, was going to start it. Byleth chose her side, and so did Jeralt, after promising to follow her wherever she would lead. She had her reasons to trust Edelgard despite who some of her allies were, and her reasons to distrust the archbishop. Jeralt never once faulted her for her decision, and was willing to see this through to the end.

He still is, even though Byleth is dead.

Jeralt has nothing left to live for other than her goal of assisting Edelgard, and of getting the answers that she feels the church would have hid from her if she had stayed with them. He regrets not telling her what he knew sooner, always making excuses because it seemed too late to say anything, afraid that she would grow upset that he had waited so long, until he waited too long and she was gone.

At first, neither he nor Edelgard wanted to accept that she was dead. Nobody had recovered a body, after all, and nobody had seen what had actually happened to her. She could just be missing, hurt somewhere and in need of a healer. He and her students searched for her tirelessly, with even Linhardt contributing as much as possible, joining in with the other healers dispatched in the search team, never once complaining about his exhaustion.

But nobody ever found her, and soon enough, the search became a search for her corpse, though neither Jeralt nor Edelgard would ever admit that. They only wanted a body to say that they knew for sure she was dead, but they never even found that. Byleth was gone, with nothing to show for it, nothing to even bury. After that, the days began to blend together, and Jeralt simply followed orders, with no aspirations to move up in the army, with no goal other than to do what he had to do to feel like he was honoring Byleth’s last wish.

If the war is won, if Rhea is defeated and Edelgard is protected, then he can pretend like he is content, and then he can die and perhaps, if there is an afterlife for those like him, then he might see his family again. He can pretend that he is dying peacefully, without regrets, but he will never forgive himself for never being able to protect anyone.

Alois and Leonie both try to support him, and he feels even more guilty for not valuing them more in his grief. They both try to stay close to him, aiding him in his fruitless searches for Byleth early on, and checking in on him as more time passes, and he knows that he should be grateful to them for that. He knows that he should not say that he has nothing to live for when he has Leonie and Alois, but it is hard to force himself to think like that, even knowing that it is the right thing to do.

His family is gone, that is all he can think about, and he can’t force himself to become a “found family” sort of person in the depths of the depression that follows Byleth’s disappearance. He knows that he should feel grateful to them, and he only feels more guilt, and any attempts that they make to help him only serve to hurt him more. It isn’t either of their faults, but all the same, he can’t help that he feels this way, and the emptiness that once threatened to swallow him now does, all too easily.

When he had lost Sitri, it was Byleth that kept him going. Now that he has lost Byleth, he is unable to force anyone else to be the reason to keep him moving forward. He clings pathetically to Byleth’s memory and to her last wishes, and when this war is over, he doubts that he will care what happens to him. Already, he barely cares, and though he is doing what he can to help out, wanting to see this through to the end, he doubts that it would be any problem if he were to die on the battlefield. Sometimes he thinks that that would be for the best, and that he should stop trying to prolong his life when he has already far outlived his own life expectancy.

If he had died when he was supposed to, then none of this ever would have happened to him, he knows. Maybe it would be better now to just give up, before anything worse happens. That being said, with no family left to live for, it is hard to imagine anything worse happening.

And there is a part of him that thinks this is some sort of punishment, that, if he had not loved her the way he did, he might not have lost her. Byleth could have been innocent, but he allowed their bond to become corrupted, and if this is his punishment, then it is his fault that she is gone. She suffered for him, for a punishment for his own failures. Of course, he only scoffs at the part of him that starts to believe in that sort of thing.

If there were any sort of higher power, he doubts that it would have played out like that, and it is selfish of him to think that Byleth’s death would have been caused as some ploy from some higher power to punish him. That would be like saying he lost Sitri because of something he had done, and it makes everything about him, when they were the ones who mattered.

But then, there are some nights that he can’t sleep because of the nightmares, and he wonders how he is supposed to help making this about anyone but himself. He is the only one left, and he is entirely on his own, so what else is he supposed to do? Jeralt loses himself in these thoughts too easily, and finds that it is easier not to think at all.

The first year after he loses her, he spends all of his time thinking, running through all these things over and over again, and in the years after that, he begins training himself not to think at all. That part is difficult, because she still creeps into his mind so often, but he works at it and works at it until he can become numb, and forget everything other than what lies in front of him. He eats what he must to survive and sleeps when he must, and fights his battles and follows orders, just as he is supposed to, while doing nothing more than what is required of him, and nothing less, and when he does allow himself to think, it is guilt for the way he brushes off Alois or Leonie, or it is the notion that if he were to die before this war is over, then he wouldn’t actually mind.

Jeralt spends years without Byleth. It has been years since the last time he saw her, since he fought by her side and found himself amazed at how much she had grown, and how strong and capable she was. Just before he lost her, she seemed undefeatable, and he had been so certain then that his decision to follow her lead was right, that anywhere she went, she would be able to overcome everything in her path. She had been the most radiant and seemed the most untouchable just before she was taken from him, and he has spent years beating himself up over not understanding that she  _ was _ touchable and she  _ was _ defeatable, that he should have been able to do a better job protecting her.

Jeralt has spent years without Byleth, and the war drags on, with no progress made on either side. From what he overhears, Edelgard is lost without Byleth’s guidance, though she tries not to let that show, and he wishes that it had been him instead, because he offers nothing in Byleth’s absence. He should not be here,

Years.

That is how long they have all lived without Byleth, and there is no doubt in anyone’s mind that she is dead and gone, and that they will never see her again. There is no doubt, and yet this child- this woman- has done the impossible and survived against all odds again and again. She has been missing for so long that it is impossible for her to have survived, and yet she returns to the monastery one day, barely touched by time at all.

Her hair has grown out so far that it reaches her legs, and she seems exhausted in a way that she has never seemed before, but other than that, she remains unchanged. If it weren’t for those slight differences, though, Jeralt might not have mistaken this for another nightmare, but in his nightmares, she looks the same as she did five years ago.

The Byleth that stands before him now is real.


	6. Chapter 6

A familiar voice wakes Byleth up, but by the time she starts to remember that voice, it is already gone. She opens her eyes slowly to a strange man who tells her strange things, and she is so dazed right now that she can barely process any of it. It does not feel like she was out for very long, but the battle must already be over.

What happened to her again…?

As she stands up, she feels something brushing her back, startling her, but when she reaches to dust it off, she finds that it is just her hair. Her hair that was short, the last time she remembered it, but now it goes all the way down her back, and the man is telling her that the Millenium Festival would have been tomorrow, and Byleth’s head is so cloudy that it is a miracle she can even understand what that means.

She’s been out for more than an hour or so. If what this man says is to be believed, she has been out for nearly five years. She doesn’t even know how she’s able to walk right now.

Her body feels so weak, but she can see the monastery just ahead, and she does not know what to do but to keep forcing herself forward. Where is her father? Where are her students? It’s been five years, and she left all of them alone, and anything could have happened in that time, but...but they all promised to meet again on that day. If any of them are still alive, then maybe they will be there, and maybe, just like when Leonie found her father before they left with the imperial forces, maybe somebody told him that she would come back that day.

They must all think she is dead.

Truth be told, Byleth feels like she should be dead right now, but she just keeps walking, willing her legs not to give out on her as she goes. Her father...Edelgard...Hubert...one by one, she runs through her students, the knights who sat in on her classes, the faculty that would help her, everyone who stayed with her when she chose to fight for Edelgard, because they trusted her. Did she really abandon them for five years? Do any of them still hold any hope for her return?

The monastery is just up ahead, and even if nobody is there, she might at least find somewhere to rest until she feels able to walk again. Something is heavy at her side, and she realizes that she is still carrying her sword, and hopes that, if it came down to it, she would be able to defend herself. How did she remain asleep for five years, without anyone finding her, and without anyone stealing the relic off of her body? Was it some final protection from Sothis, who she thought to be gone?

Was that who woke her up?

There are signs of life here, and she does not dare to get her hopes up as she continues searching for a person, any person. If she has to fight someone, then so be it, but she can’t help but think that it will not come to that. They won the battle five years ago, didn’t they? Would Edelgard have lost control of the monastery in that time? If not, then the troops should still be here, and they might at least know who Byleth is.

But Edelgard is the one that she sees first. She jumps when she hears steps behind her, and gawks at Byleth as if she doesn’t believe it, and she grows angry and she cries and she smiles and she hugs her former professor tight, furious with her for abandoning her, and overjoyed that she has come back at last.

Byleth has no way to explain her absence other than saying that she was asleep, something that Edelgard finds a little hard to believe. She accepts it, however, and wants to get straight down to business, to help Byleth understand what she has missed while she was gone.

“And what of my father?” Byleth asks, her voice still so weak even though she has been up for a while now.

“He...did not take your loss well,” Edelgard says, a bit sadly. “But he is still with us. All of our old classmates, the entirety of the Black Eagles Strike Force, still remains, and they’re all here with us. I’m sure everyone, your father included, will be elated to see you.”

She wants to see everybody, but most of all, she wants to see Jeralt. It was only last night that they prepared for battle together, except it wasn’t, it was years ago. And it seems like days since the last time she was able to touch him, but he hasn’t touched her in years. All this time, she wanted to be the one to protect him, so that she would never have to lose him, and she made him suffer the pain of losing her.

Even now, Byleth feels as though she could collapse at any moment, but she follows along behind Edelgard anyway, listening to her updates on what has happened in the war, knowing that she has to keep walking if she wants to see him. There will be time for rest later, when she knows that he is safe. She can hear voices up ahead, some of them so familiar that it triggers a sort of nostalgia in her, and she realizes how quickly she has accepted that five years have passed.

Edelgard has grown to be quite beautiful; the rest of her students must have grown and changed as well. She can’t imagine her father having changed a bit, but he never changed at all in the time that she knew him. It is very possible that he is the same as he always has been, and that is what Byleth imagines in her mind as she stumbles behind Edelgard to show herself at last.

Her students are all crowded together, and they all surround her when they realize who she is, mobbing her and overwhelming her, so much so that she barely notices Leonie breaking away from the group. Byleth is so tired now, her legs feeling weaker and weaker beneath her, and she continues to wonder how she has made it this far. Though her head is somewhat cloudy now, she is able to recognize everyone in the group, taking note of her how they have changed in the past couple years, making it seem even more real that so much time has passed without her. They have all grown up, and she-

“Byleth.” The voice snaps her out of her thoughts, and her students, hearing him as well, step aside to make room for him. Jeralt- who doesn’t look the same, but she can’t explain it right now- pulls her into his arms, in a tug so tight that she feels as though he might crush her, and she would not care if he did. It’s only been a day since she saw him last, at least to her, but seeing how everyone has grown up, and seeing how even he has changed, she aches from missing him, and understands perfectly just how much time has passed.

“Father,” she replies, her voice sounding weaker than she is used to, and he presses his lips to her forehead. Even now, he is not so swept away in his passion upon seeing her that he does anything that could be interpreted as anything other than a reunion between father and daughter. Byleth wants to kiss him properly, even if it is in front of everyone, but she has a feeling that is just her own exhaustion clouding her judgment.

Right now, she should just be happy to let her father hold her close.

“Where the hell have you been?” he mumbles, tightening his hold on her.

“I...asleep, I think,” she mumbles, and then, in his arms, her body finally gives out on her and her legs give up on supporting her. Jeralt is there to hold her steady as she finally collapses, surprised that it took her this long to do so. The fact that she could make it to the monastery in this condition is a miracle all on its own, she thinks.

“You look like you need sleep, for someone who’s apparently been sleeping for five years,” he mutters, and there is something comforting in the fact that he is trying humor with her during their reunion. She never wants to leave his side again, and wishes that there were some way to apologize for her absence, even though it was no fault of hers.

“She’s very tired,” Edelgard speaks up, directing this at the crowd of former students. “We should let her rest, and pick this up when she’s feeling a little better.”

Edelgard has missed her a great deal, and understands everyone’s excitement, but understands Byleth’s feelings better, and helps to clear the room while Jeralt picks her up, effortlessly, just like he has been able to since she was a small child. When everyone but the three of them and Hubert are gone, she says, “You should take her to your room.”

“I’ll see to it that her old room is properly cleaned up,” Hubert adds. “Unfortunately, after the first year or so, I think everyone gave up on your return, professor. At least, enough so that we stopped trying to keep it clean, so things will be a little musty.”

“That’s fine,” she mumbles.

“She can stay with me until her room is ready,” Jeralt adds. “That’s no problem at all.” With that, he sets to carrying her, and she wants to look around as they go, to take in the differences to the monastery, but she is so tired that all she can do is nuzzle her face against her father and close her eyes.

She is startled back awake when they arrive at his room, and he gently lays her down on his bed, still smelling overwhelming like her father, a familiar and comforting scent. Now that she is able to look at him without anyone else to distract her, she understands why he looks different. Though he doesn’t appear to have aged physically, there is exhaustion in his face like she has never seen before, and his hair has become unkempt, not as long as hers, of course, but it has definitely grown out a bit. Immediately, she understands that this is because of her.

“I’m sorry,” she says, her voice still weak. “Edelgard...she said you all kept looking for me, I didn’t mean to...I wasn’t…”

“Strange things have always happened where you’re concerned, kid,” he mumbles. “At this point, I’d definitely buy that you were asleep for five years, I just wish we could have found you. I...I kept hoping you would come back,  _ because _ so many strange things always happen with you.”

“I wasn’t able to protect you,” she says, and he shakes his head.

“That’s my line,” he replies, before leaning down to kiss her. Byleth returns his kiss, not caring how tired she is, not wanting to sleep at all right now, and her cheeks are wet, and it’s hard to tell if those are his tears or hers. More than likely both, and she just lets him wrap his arms around her, pulling her up to hold her close while he kisses her.

~X~

Byleth doesn’t remember falling asleep, when she wakes up the next morning. For a moment, she is briefly terrified that she has lost time again, and relieved when she realizes that it’s only the next day. Edelgard visits her, telling her that she should take her time to recover, but that they are launching an attack on the Alliance soon, and that she hopes Byleth will be able to help them again.

“The war is at a standstill,” Jeralt tells her. “We can’t do it without you. I’m not the only one who fell apart when you disappeared.”

“I’ll see it through,” she replies. “And I’m never going to disappear again.”


	7. Chapter 7

They let Byleth rest for several days, as she tries to adjust to her body again. Being inactive and in some sort of stasis for five years has definitely taken its toll on her, so she spends most days in her father’s room, with him helping her walk and move around, and bringing her her meals. It is regrettable that they finally have some time alone together, and yet she is too tired to make the most of it, but she knows better than to push herself.

After what has happened to her, she should be dead. The fact that she is not is a miracle all on its own, a miracle she has encountered before, when she charged headfirst into vengeance. She should have died back then too, and she didn’t, and she should have learned her lesson back then, about rushing into things. If she is going to remain at her father’s side, she has to be a little more cautious about things.

Of course, she still intends to aid Edelgard in the war, and she would never go back on the promise that she made her, but she will have to be careful. She has to protect her father, like she swore to all those years ago, and in order to do that, she has to protect herself. So she has to take things slowly, until she feels ready to resume her regular life.

In the meantime, she spends her waking hours terrified of falling asleep again, because if she does, she fears she won’t wake up this time, or might find herself further into the future, and that she will not be as lucky when she wakes up again, that everyone will have died in her absence, because she was not there to protect them. If not for her exhaustion, she would never sleep, but it’s impossible to fight it off in her current condition, and whenever she wakes up, still wrapped in Jeralt’s arms, she pulls herself closer to him to reassure herself that this is real, and that they are back together at last.

Until she can’t contain herself anymore, and does not worry for her recovery or her exhaustion. She has been recovering fairly well recently, and was even able to walk to the dining hall to eat dinner the night before, so now that she has him to herself, she forgets resting entirely. They have been apart for so long, longer in his mind than hers, and she can’t imagine how he must feel when she already feels like she is losing her mind from it.

Her exhaustion has helped keep her mind hazy for a while now, but as it begins to clear, she can no longer fight off her desire. Byleth pulls Jeralt into a long and passionate kiss one morning, just after he has woken up, and by the end, he is on top of her and has her pinned down. His chest moves with each heavy breath, and he hesitates for a moment.

“What am I doing?” he mutters. “I need to let you rest, this is hardly the time for…”

“I feel fine,” she says, and it is not entirely a lie. “At least, I feel fine enough for this.”

“I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to push you too far when you just came back to me, and I...I can’t lose you again, I can  _ never _ lose you again,” he says, his voice becoming more desperate as he speaks. Before she’d disappeared, she had never seen him like this, and now, he seems so fragile to her, even more fragile than he’d seemed on his death bed, as Manuela did all she could to bring him back to her.

Byleth’s supposed death did more harm to him than his near-fatal wound, and that is why she has to do this now, and show him,  _ prove to him _ , that she is here with him, and that she is never going to leave his side again.

“I’m not going anywhere,” she says. “You’re not going to be able to get rid of me like that again.”

“Ha ha,” he says, without any feeling in his voice. “You know you can’t actually promise me that in the middle of a war, and when you’re already so...I can’t be without you! I already know what it feels like to lose you, and even so, I don’t know what I’d do without you. Byleth…”

“I’m not going anywhere,” she repeats, and she kisses him again, certain that this will be all it will take to shatter his self-control. He holds her down as he returns her kiss, and she allows herself to get completely lost in this moment. Her body aches, recalling his long absence better than her mind ever could, and once again, she is assured that it has been five years since the last time she and her father were this close.

They are both stripped down in no time at all, and then he has her pinned again, kissing along her neck this time, moaning and mumbling along her skin, about how beautiful she is, how much he missed her, and how much he needs her. He needs her, something that she has always known, and yet where was she when he needed her the most? How are they ever going to be able to make up for all the time that they have lost?

The only way to do that is to start now, and do as much as they can. That is the only thing she can think of, as she lets her father cover her with kisses, promising herself and then promising him that he will never have to live without her again. No matter what it takes, if she has to fight her back like she did all those years ago, she will always return to him. If she can avoid leaving his side at all to begin with, then she will do so.

Jeralt’s lips trail further down her body, and Byleth lets her hands roam up and down his back, glad to be able to touch him in this moment, wanting to cling to him as much as possible to make sure that all of this is real. She can’t help the whimpers that escape her as he tries his best to kiss every inch of skin that he can reach. It becomes very evident that they have both been holding back a lot, and they they have so much to get caught up on that it seems almost overwhelming to even begin to try.

But Byleth does not allow herself to be daunted by this, nor will she allow him to falter. Now that they have each other again, neither can afford to falter, and if she has to spent every day making her absence up to him, then she is going to do that. The war almost seems insignificant in comparison, though she knows that that is just the heat of the moment, and the excitement of having him so close speaking.

Jeralt finally presses his lips to one of her breasts, and she could cry from how good it feels, how much she has missed it without realizing she was missing it at all. She finds herself digging her nails into his back, scratching him as she lets her pleasure overtake her, and lets her father take care of her. While he does this, he lets his own hands roam her body, and she takes great comfort in the familiar touch, that is so gentle despite how rough his hands are.

There is no one else in the world that she knows better than her father, no touch that she knows as well. He has always been there for her, for as long as she can remember, and Byleth has not been able to return that favor. She was not there for him- she could barely save him from dying back then, and then she disappeared from his life entirely for years.

“I’m sorry,” she whimpers, before she realizes that she is saying it. She has not said anything to him about how awful she feels about her disappearance, and even if it is not really her fault, she feels as though she owes him some sort of explanation.

“Don’t ever do that again,” he replies. She almost expected him to say something like,  _ It’s okay, as long as I have you now _ , but she is glad that he didn’t. If anything, she just wants him to be honest about his feelings with her, and not hide how much he has been hurting without her.

“I won’t,” she says, “so please...just don’t give up on me…”

“I almost did,” he replies. “I almost…” He doesn’t finish his sentence, and he doesn’t have to. She understands that he never expected her to return, and understands that he has fallen apart in the time without her. The fact that he is still here now says a lot, and she will never put him through that again.

Rather than saying another word, he finally shifts their positions so that he can push into her, looking near tears as he fills her. He almost gave up on her, and never thought that he would be able to feel like this again. Byleth can’t even begin to imagine what this must be like for him, and she surrenders herself to him entirely, letting him do whatever he needs to do to begin filling the emptiness she had left him with.

Her father buries his cock inside of her, and he holds her close to him as he begins rocking his hips, falling into a gentle and familiar rhythm, one that could almost be called lazy if not for the emotion behind it. He is taking things slow because he wants this to last, and wants to savor it for as long as he can. It would be so easy to rush things, and to take it all at once, but his appetite would quickly become insatiable, if that were the case. Instead, he opts to take things slow, enjoying every moment that he can spend inside her.

Right now, Byleth does not feel as tired as she has, forgetting her exhaustion and the difficulties of returning to the world of the living, as she finally gives herself over to the passionate reunion that she and Jeralt did their best to put on hold until she was ready. As he fucks her gentle, she whimpers for him, wishing that they could hold onto this moment forever. At least for now, they can wallow in the satisfaction of their reunion, and that will simply have to be good enough for the two of them.

But even as he tries to hold out and to savor it all, his body and his desires soon get the better of him, and as he loses himself to it, his pace increases, until he is fucking her hard and fast, his hips jerking into her as Byleth moans beneath him. She presses her lips to his again, so that they can share their moans as he pushes her closer to her limit, and then beyond her limit, groaning into his mouth as she comes.

It is like the first time for the two of them, all over again, and he is weak before her, his lust overpowering him, the sensation of her orgasm too much for him to handle, and just as soon as she has come, he is joining her, pushing into her one last time as he gives in. Jeralt groans as well, breaking the kiss only because he struggles to breathe in this moment. And once it is done, he nearly collapses on top of her, but catches himself before he does.

She is still trying to recover, after all.

Sleep is even harder to fight once they are done, so she has to content herself with snuggling close to him as she allows it to overtake her once again. Though she is still afraid, she remains determined to wake up again in the morning, so that shse can continue to remain at his side.


	8. Chapter 8

Once Byleth is able to resume training, she does, and she even resumes her position as a professor, despite there being no one there to employ her to do so. Her former students still enjoy studying in a class setting, though they all assist each other much more than they simply rely on Byleth’s guidance. They have all grown and learned in their own rights, and so, together they continue to prepare for the battles that they know are to come.

Her father is present for these lessons, and several people comment on how much he has perked up since Byleth has returned. She feels a stab of guilt every time, knowing that her disappearance turned him into a shell of his former self, but all she can do now is spend as much time with him as possible, and try and make up for as much lost time as she can.

Outside of class, she trains with him and eats with him, and even though her room is ready for her now, she sleeps with him more often than not. She sneaks out at night so nobody notices that part, but everything else that they do just makes them seem close. It only seems as though they really are just trying to make up for lost time, as a typical father and daughter might. No one suspects them of being lovers, or if they do, they certainly do not show that to Byleth.

Soon they will move to take the Alliance, and in the meantime, she balances her time between training and preparing, and staying up, alone with her father, where the two of them can lose themselves in one another. Even as he grows used to having her back in his life, and even as he steadily recovers from the years without her, his desperation to have her still shows in his every movement, clingier than he was in the past. Byleth does not mind that, and feels rather clingy herself, wondering how either of them even have enough restraint to keep their relationship appearing familial in public.

She gets a taste for battle again, as they use the random attacks from bandits as further training, defending the monastery with ease. Occasionally, groups will go out to hunt monsters as well, and Byleth finds herself comfortable on the battlefield once more. Jeralt always sticks close to her, and she remains at his side, both determined to protect the other from any danger, while both knowing that they can’t do anything that may sacrifice themselves, because that would harm the other just as much.

Strength becomes the most important thing to their relationship, the strength to defend each other and to protect themselves against anything that might take them away from the other. She and Jeralt begin training even when others are not, sparring against each other, pushing themselves to the limit at night, even when they would have ordinarily spent that time in each other’s arms.

Of course, that leads to many instances in which they nearly give into their passion in the training hall, and they both soon realize that they can’t simply switch all of their focus into training, and that they need to find a balance that allows them to remain strong enough to reach their goals, but also allows them to spend as much time together as they need, to avoid it all growing out of proportion.

If their relationship did not have to be such a big secret, it would not be as much of a problem. Getting caught fucking in the training hall may be an issue for any couple, but it seems like something easily waved away if one is caught fucking a friend, someone that might be expected to become their lover. Byleth knows that being caught fucking her father would do a lot more than simply tarnih her relationship a bit, so they have to keep that under control.

They fall into this new routine, but before long, they must launch their first major attack on the Alliance. Edelgard offers to let her rest through this one, and only participate in forming the strategy, but Jeralt is going to take part, and Byleth refuses to sit it out if her father is going to be there. So much time has been wasted, in which he has been able to charge into battle without her there to protect him. Now that she is here to do something about it, she is not going to let that happen again.

She does not tell him this, for fear that he might sit it out just to make her sit it out as well. Even with her worries for him, she also has a responsibility to the Empire and to Edelgard, and the two of them have worked hard to hone their abilities. It would not be right of them to keep their strength to themselves now, and so they head for battle together.

Seeing her students in action, in a serious battle, for the first time in years, is enough to leave Byleth awed by their progress, but there is no time to think about such things. Together, they all must focus on the goal at hand, pressing forward as they aim to first defeat Judith, then Claude himself, to secure their position at the head of the Alliance. Some students express sadness over fighting a former classmate, but Byleth has distanced herself from that, because it is necessary to do so.

It is necessary, not only for the war effort, but for fully dedicating herself to her father’s safety, above all else. This is the side that they have chosen, and nothing is ever going to change that. At this point, a threat against the Empire is a threat against her father, and Byleth will not allow anything like that to stand. Even if it means fighting someone that she could have taught, and perhaps could have chosen to side with, in another lifetime.

So she forgets anything that may lead her to consider regretting it, and she follows through with the plans as they have always been. With her father at her side, and with Edelgard putting so much faith in her, there is nothing that Byleth can’t see through. The battle to take the Alliance is a hard one, but even so, they see it through, claiming another decisive victory, turning the tides in a war that had remained in stalemate for so long.

With this much momentum achieved, Edelgard does not want to slow down at all, and the Kingdom must fall next, in order for them to reach the heart of the Church of Seiros. Things will not slow down from this point on, but that is only so that they can secure a future where they no longer have to worry about such a war. In the meantime, they must continue to prepare to fight, taking each battle as it comes.

~X~

“We haven’t talked much at all,” Byleth says to her father one night, as he helps her out of her clothes once again.

“What do you mean?” he asks. Already, he seems like a different man from the one she found when she returned to life, more like the man she used to know, the one that raised her. “You never were very talkative before, either.”

What she means to say is that there was plenty they should have talked about in the past, and that it always got put on hold for some reason or another, and that they always seem to find themselves distracted by life or death situations, and the frantic way they come back together afterwards, fucking as much as possible just to feel that the other is there, just to know that they are not alone and that they have not lost that.

But then, it might be expecting a lot to assume that he remembers his promises to open up about his past, and the truth surrounding the circumstances of her birth. For her, it was several months ago, but for him...maybe passing conversations from years and years ago no longer register to him. Even so, she wants to know, and she wants him to open up to her.

“Back then, I wanted to know...about the church, and what it had to do with you, and with me,” she says. “But that doesn’t have to be right now.”

A troubled expression crosses his face as he says, “I should have just told you then. I always made excuses, about time, and let myself get distracted and...ah, fuck, I’m about to do that again, and you already know it.”

“Not right now,” she repeats. “You can take time to think about it, but this time...I don’t want to let anything else get in the way.”

“I know that, I know, I just…” Perhaps she should not have brought this up while he stripped her down. The lust in his eyes clouds his judgment and he mumbles, “I just want you so badly that I can’t stand it.”

The two of them fall into the same pattern of using each other to find security, to find their footing in the world that has become so uncertain. Even if she had not disappeared, and even if he had not nearly died all those years ago, she thinks that they would have ended up here anyway, and that is what a war does to people, even seasoned mercenaries like her father and herself.

With her face against the pillow, she pushes her hips back as he works his fingers into her ass, the process of getting into this position and getting prepared reduced to a blur due to her losing herself in her thoughts. But now that he is fingering her, she is brought back to reality, moaning and leaning into his touch, letting him loosen her and giving in, letting her own lust overtake her.

They need this, much more than either of them needs to talk about anything right now, but soon enough, they will have to face what he has spent her entire life avoiding. Byleth wants to trust her father, but she can no longer allow him to hide things from her, not now that she is more than old enough to understand, not when she is old enough to become his lover.

The Alliance has been conquered and the Kingdom is next, and neither of them are dead yet, despite all the times that they could have died, and all the times that they thought they would never see each other again, and Jeralt pushes into her with a groan, and Byleth goes to pieces beneath him, and the two of them are simply grateful to be able to be together and to touch one another.

As he fucks her, he reaches in front of her with his hand, stroking her clit so that she shudders with pleasure, overtaken by it so easily. He works his hips against her, working his cock in her ass with each thrust, and toying with her until he has her at her limit, until he is at his own limit as well. The two of them are still alive and still together as they both come at nearly the same time, moaning together before panting, laying together as they catch their breath.

“We have a lot to discuss,” Jeralt says when he finally breaks the silence. “I won’t keep making excuses like that, kid, I promise.”

“I want to tell you not to say that. It makes me worry that you’re making a promise you can’t keep,” she admits, a fear that she often keeps to herself.

“I’ve always come back to you, and you’ve always come back to me,” he replies. “Even if I don’t always deliver at first, I’m never going to make you a promise that I can’t keep.”

Somehow, his words are enough to reassure her.


	9. Chapter 9

“You were born without a heartbeat,” Jeralt tells her. “I don’t know much about the circumstances, but you were born without a heartbeat, and your mother sacrificed herself to save you. That is how Rhea tells it, and somehow, something that she did ensured your survival, but even back then...you know that you don’t have a heartbeat still, don’t you?”

“I...did notice that,” she admits, wondering how strange she must seem, having known this all along and simply taken it in stride.

“You have a pulse and you’re most definitely alive, but your heart is as still as it was the day you were born,” he explains. “There was something odd about you, and something odd about Rhea’s behavior after you were born. Honestly, I’d wondered about her before that, when I first started getting close to your mother. They were close, but there was something about the way she looked at her...and then there was you. I didn’t know what she planned to do with you, but I didn’t want to find out. That’s why we ran away.”

“So, when we first came here, you…”

“Lied to her, yeah. She saw right through me, of course. She knew you were your mother’s daughter at a glance, but we both pretended you were born later, even though you were too old for that,” he says. “Whatever she had in mind, she was glad to have you back, but then, you didn’t choose her.”

“I still think that I made the right choice,” Byleth says, almost to herself. But knowing her father’s reason for not trusting Rhea does help confirm that she did the right thing.

“I don’t know much more than that, honestly,” he says. “Part of why I tried not to tell you about it all is it seems like it just complicates things, without offering any real explanation. I wondered if you really needed to know the circumstances of your birth, but then when we returned to the monastery, it became harder to keep it to myself, and I wondered if I should tell you, or if I should have told you sooner.”

“Rhea might not be able to tell us more. It might take a long time before I can understand her reasons, because I’m not sure she will be willing to say anything, or if she will even have a chance on the battlefield. But I know that if I had chosen her, I would have been kept in the dark, and used as her pawn. I still think that I did the right thing.”

“It’s like I told you all those years ago, when I told you to just go with what you thought was right. I knew you would make the right choice,” he says.

“Did you want me to go against the church?” asks Byleth.

“Well, it certainly seemed like a nice option. On the other hand, I wouldn’t have blamed you for siding against the Empire because Edelgard is forced to work with...well,  _ them _ .” They don’t often mention the ones pulling the strings, the ones who hurt him and nearly killed him. It is an ugly reality, but either side would have required working with someone that they could not fully trust. At the very least, she knows that Edelgard is only biding her time, that Hubert already has plans to push them entirely out of the picture, once the war is won and they are no longer in need of their assistance.

“I wanted to stay with my students.”

“And I wanted to stay with you. No matter what.” The more they talk to each other like this, the easier it is to get back to the way that they were before. At first, the differences that occurred over their time apart made it difficult, and their desperation to cling to one another left them too distracted to do anything at all, much less find some way to bridge the gap left between the two of them.

But now, they talk openly, about their lives before and about the secrets he has kept from her, about her decision and the battles to come, and the fact that, no matter where life takes them, they will still always stay together. They have come such a long way together, always sticking together, and slowly, it begins to feel like old times again.

“It’s hard to imagine we were ever apart,” he admits one day. “Which is honestly surprising. I spent years without you, barely feeling time pass because none of it mattered anymore, and when you came back, you almost felt like a stranger, it had been so long. But now...now, it’s just like it always was. Like we never had to be apart to begin with.”

“I know that I didn’t experience those years without you, but I was left with a sense of lost time. It felt like I had just woken up from sleeping for several hours, but then, the feeling that it had been much longer set it,” she tries to explain. “Seeing everyone again made it apparent that it really had been years, and then, I felt the loss. I knew that I had lost time, and that even if I could not remember the years passing, I could still feel that...well, it’s hard to explain.”

“And now?” he asks.

“Now, I don’t feel that as often. Being with you, like this, I feel like we are as comfortable as we were back then, and as if all that time hasn’t passed. I no longer feel like I’ve lost something, even though I know I still have. What...what did Rhea do to me, when I was a baby? How could I have survived this long and experienced all these things? Whatever has happened...I know it must be because of her.”

“You said it yourself. It might be hard to ever understand it all. She might not be able to tell us anything. We might not have the chance to actually ask her any questions, and even if we do, she may not be willing to answer,” he says.

“Even so, I still want to defeat her. If we can’t get answers out of her, then I will just have to continue on as I always have,” says Byleth. Jeralt hesitates for a moment, and she asks, “Is there something else?”

“Just one more thing, maybe even bigger than what I told you before. See, I’m...actually a lot older than I look,” he confesses, and Byleth cocks her head.

“I already knew that.”

“Wh...you did?”

“Well, sort of. I know that you haven’t changed much since I was a child, and that everyone who meets you seems surprised that you haven’t aged. You say vague things that indicate you’re not as you seem, and for whatever reason, you don’t physically age,” she says. “Is that about right?”

“I...yeah, you hit the nail on the head,” he mutters, seeming surprised that she picked up on it all without him ever realizing it. “I actually owed Lady Rhea a great debt, for saving my life, once. It’s why I stayed by her side, even when I began to question her, and why it took your safety being brought into question for me to leave that first time.”

“She saved you and that made it so you didn’t age?” asks Byleth.

“A side effect. Something to do with her blood. The whole situation is very...complicated, but I think it’s safe to assume that she is not human, not like us.”

“I see. I think I understand a bit better now. It’s possible that she…” Byleth trails off, before finishing her sentence.

But, without needing her to finish it, Jeralt replies, “Yeah, I’ve been thinking the same thing. This war, your connection to the goddess...all of it seems very personal for her.”

“She won’t tell us anything.”

“Not when she believes that you betrayed her. There probably won’t be any way to reason with her. Do you still think you made the right choice?”

“I’ve already said that I don’t expect her to tell me much. That definitely isn’t enough to make me change my mind, and especially not this late,” says Byleth, her tone steady and certain.

“You took the news about my age pretty well.”

“Whether you fit your appearance or not, you’d always be an old man,” she replies.

“Hey! I...wait, was that a joke? From you?” he asks, seeming as though he is not sure whether to be offended or amused. “You really are a chip off the old block, kid.”

“A very old block,” she agrees, and he fakes a scowl.

“Alright, watch it. Don’t let your jokes go on too long, or they stop being funny. That’s an important lesson, so take it to heart.”

~X~

Just a few short days after their conversation, the monastery is attacked by the Knights of Seiros, intent on taking it back. After the Empire’s victory of the Alliance, they must be feeling the pressure, and wanted to make their own move, before the Empire began closing in on the Kingdom. A decisive victory here could turn the tides back in their favor, so with that in mind, the Black Eagle Strike Force must do what they can to defend, called to battle with such short notice.

Once again, they are brought face to face with familiar enemies, who were once friends and allies. Jeralt used to be among their ranks, and had their respect as the former captain, and now, he has gone against everything that they are supposed to believe in.

Even so, Jeralt does not falter, and with him, Byleth does as she always does, striking down her enemies and leaving no room for counterattacks, and no room for any hard to come to her or her father. They are all doing this on Rhea’s behalf, perhaps the only person who knows the whole truth about Byleth. If she were to surrender now, if she and her father were to surrender now, they might be able to find more answers on the other side.

But that has never been an option, and it is an option that she would never consider. She shows no hesitation and no mercy, and the enemy forces begin to dwindle, until she comes face to face with Flayn.

Ah. She had heard that Seteth was leading these troops. It makes sense that Flayn would find a way to come here, even with how overprotective her older brother is. Except Byleth knows the truth about them, and knows that they have their own mysterious circumstances, and that Flayn is his daughter. A father and a daughter, fighting together for what they believe in.

It is no wonder that Byleth finds her heart softening now, enough to give Flayn a chance to surrender and escape. Somehow, she knows that Flayn will not present a threat to them again, and neither will Seteth, once he knows that she has offered Flayn an escape. Jeralt does not comment on her choice, nor does he do anything to stop her, not even when the two come face to face with Seteth. A father and a daughter, who only want to protect one another, and see that the other lives to see another day.

At the end of it all, they will always care more about one another than they do any cause or any purpose. Without each other, their cause will not matter, and their purpose will fade away. Byleth understands this because they are just like her and her father. And so, though she knows Hubert would never let her hear the end of it, if he were to find out, she allows them both to surrender and escape, knowing that she will never see them again.

Jeralt does not need to ask her if she regrets that decision, already knowing that she never will.


	10. Chapter 10

With the monastery secured and the Kingdom on their horizon, it seems as if the end of the war is finally within their grasp. Arionrhod will be a difficult battle, for sure, but once they have pierced those defenses, then it will only be a matter of time. Of course, an important part of this mission involves it’s secrecy, as Edelgard is only involving her closest allies, and not telling anyone of the impending attack.

They have spies within the Kingdom, but those spies are on the side of the ones pulling the strings behind her, the ones that she hopes to do away with, once the war is won. This attack will be carried out without approval from her uncle, and may be met with repercussions, even if Edelgard and Hubert can play dumb enough to make it seem as though they only thought of this as an attack against the Kingdom, no one else.

“Hubert has talked to me a lot about them,” Byleth says, while explaining the details of the mission to Jeralt. “It’s been difficult, taking their side while we continue to pretend there are no plans to turn on them, but after the war is over, we can get serious about that.”

“I’m surprised that you weren’t blinded with vengeance again,” Jeralt says. “I can still remember when you went off to fight them even though I told you that that wouldn’t be necessary.”

“Things have changed since then. At least, I understand now the sort of scale I’m dealing with, and just how tied in with the war it all is. If we’re going to defeat the church, then we have to take advantage of everything that we can. Edelgard has been their puppet for so long, but once she has her other enemies out of the way, then it might finally be possible to set her sights on the rest of them. Though I believe Hubert will be heading that war, and doing so in secret.”

“You’ll be seeking your revenge then, won’t you?” her father asks. “If you and Hubert have already discussed it, then I take it that means you’ve probably already signed yourself up for the cause.”

“I think that I could be a big help, even if it weren’t already personal,” she explains. “But, since it is...well, I think that’s why he decided to ask me in the first place. He knows that he can trust me with something like this, and he probably thought it might make it easier for me to stomach things as they are, at least for the time being.”

“And you never thought to ask if I wanted to come along?”

“It’s still a long way away. We have to focus on winning  _ this _ war first, you know that. And…” She trails off, sighing. “I would prefer it if you stayed out of it. I’m doing this for you, because I couldn’t protect you before, so I…”

“That was just as much on me as it was anyone else, maybe more so. And if anyone should want to fight them, it would be me. You’re not going to be able to keep me out of this one, kid,” he says. She had a feeling that he might put his foot down about it, but she had hoped that she would have been able to convince him to stay out of it. Now, she realizes just how futile that hope is. The two of them do everything together now that they are reunited; after the scare she gave him, after the years he suffered without her, there is no way in hell he is going to let her slip away again, not for any reason.

“I just want to be able to protect you.”

“But I’m always going to want to protect my daughter,” he replies. “Haven’t we had this argument before? Or something similar?”

“It wouldn’t surprise me. We’re too much alike,” she says. Two sides of the same coin, her father serving as her other half.

“Of course we are. You are  _ my _ daughter, remember?” He puts his arm around her, pulling her close. “Whatever happens where those bastards are concerned, I know I can trust you to have my back, just the same as you can always rest assured that I’ll have yours. Like you said, we just need to focus on winning this war first. Then we can kick some ass in the next one, right?”

“I’m sure Hubert will be happy to have a seasoned mercenary on his side,” she says, nuzzling her head against him, and allowing herself to relax, at least for the time being.

“That better not be another crack about my age. You’ve been getting pretty careless with those lately,” he says, in a mock-warning tone.

“I wouldn’t say I’m being careless,” she says. “I’m only telling the truth, after all.”

“Oh, that’s it,” he says, surprising her as he suddenly tackles her to the ground, pinning her hands above her head. “You’ve been getting pretty bold, haven’t you, kid? Is it about time I put you in your place again?” Before she can answer him, he is kissing her, so hard and fierce that for a moment, she forgets how to breathe entirely, completely willing to let him have his way with her, whatever that may entail.

He lets go of her hands so that his own can drift down her body, already pulling at her clothes, eager to undress her right away. She does not mind the two of them getting carried away like this, and finds this to be the best distraction from such a serious conversation, though they will not be able to distract themselves for long.

The battle is drawing closer and closer, but for now, the two of them are alone together, and can forget, at least for a little while, all of the things that they will soon have to do. Byleth is content to give herself over to her father once again.

~X~

The repercussions for their unsanctioned attack are more severe than Byleth could have imagined. The fortress is destroyed, and the lives of everyone present lost. They are only lucky that they had returned to the monastery to regroup and prepare for their march on the Kingdom, and that no one in Edelgard’s closest group was harmed in any way.

Still, the message was very clear, and while discussing this with her father later, both are more determined than ever to put an end to their mysterious enemy once and for all. Neither will let this go unpunished, and neither will allow them to continue pulling the strings, forcing Edelgard to go along with everything that they want her to do. Once this war is over, both Byleth and Jeralt are determined to do their part to secure real peace in the Empire, not the false peace that the ones pulling the strings would prefer.

“Hubert has told me that this attack has a silver lining,” she tells him. “He is able to figure out, roughly, where it came from. They launched these...these…” She struggles to explain it the way it was explained to her, but Jeralt already understands.

“I know what you mean,” he says. “So, he was able to use them to trace them back to the source?”

“Right. So that means that, if they have one single, stable base of operations, then he will be able to find them like this, and we can begin launching attacks when the war is over. Of course, that will bring similar dangers, but…”

“But it’s the best shot that we have,” he finishes. “And, maybe between now and then, he might have the time to gather even more intelligence, and figure out other ways to bring them down. This is a big start, though.”

“At least those lives weren’t lost for nothing. Even so, it’s frustrating. I can only imagine what Edelgard must be going through, having to guard her every move, knowing that mistakes, and that acting outside of orders, could result in so much bloodshed.”

“All the more reason to want to help her, right?”

“Right.” She almost says that, with how dangerous it is going to be, that she will be worried about having him with her, but she already knows how that conversation goes. Anything that she says about her concern for him, he can turn around on her, reminding her that he worries too, that she has given him plenty of reason to worry about her. Not only that, but, as her father, he feels that he has more right to worry and to want to protect her, and he will not hesitate to lord that over her, if it comes down to an argument of that sort.

Instead, she just lays her hand on top of his, not sure if she is trying to reassure him that she is right there with him, or if she is looking for some sort of reassurance from him. Right now, it does not really matter, just as long as she can touch him, just as long as they can be close like this. He is the only one she could ever feel this close to, and whether she was seeking reassurance or not, his touch fills her with it anyway, and she relaxes a bit.

He moves his hand, but only to hold hers, taking it in his, and she marvels at how large his hand is in comparison to hers. So big and so rough, though hers is rather rough as well, from the years of training with him and for him, from the years of fighting by his side. She feels secure when hand in hand with her father and her lover, and she will never feel this way about anybody else.

So many years ago, she used to doubt her feelings, wondering why she felt so strongly for her father and felt incapable of loving anyone else this much. She wondered what was wrong with her, and she tried to forget her feelings, tried to find any possible way to move on. The fact that he returned them, the fact that he accepted her as she was and loved the same, felt like a miracle back then, and to this day, she has never once stopped being grateful for his love.

Their relationship can never be public. She can never brag to anyone about how her lover treats her or about how happy she is with him. There will always be secrets separating her from everyone that she gets close to, because she knows that there would be a much bigger gap between them if they ever knew the truth about her relationship with her father. Even so, she is happy as she is, just knowing that she can be with him, now and forever.

This is what she is fighting so hard to protect. This happiness, this relationship, that means more to her than anything else ever could, so much that she does not mind that she has to keep it to herself, and does not mind that she can never let anyone know just how happy she really is. And she will protect that happiness, no matter what the cost, and she is willing to put that distance between herself and everyone else, even her closest friends.

All the same, she knows she would be willing to leave them behind, if it came down to it. Even this war, that she fights on behalf of her closest friends, is secondary when it comes to her father, and even her former students, even Hubert, even Edelgard, are secondary. If they ever made her choose, if she ever had to leave them behind, if it meant pursuing her happiness with her father, that is what she would choose, every time.

Holding his hand right now, she knows that it is worth protecting, and that everything she does, she does for their happiness.


	11. Chapter 11

If she can just make it through these next battles, then everything is going to come to an end, at long last. The odds have been tilted more and more in favor of the Adrestian Empire, and with a decisive victory in Fhirdiad, they can put an end to it all, once and for all. The rest of the Kingdom’s strongholds have fallen, and the Alliance is no longer in the picture. The Church of Seiros and the Kingdom are indistinguishable at this point, with the way that they really on one another, and if Dimitri can be defeated, then so can Rhea, at least in theory.

There is, of course, the matter of Rhea’s monstrous abilities, but they are so close now that they can’t waste time dwelling on the potential difficulties surrounding that fight. They will simply have to give it all they have, and hope that by the time Rhea shows her face, that they will not be so worn out by the battles up until now that it hinders their ability to destroy the Immaculate One.

Perhaps they are gambling quite a bit at this point, but even in her position, assisting with battle strategies, Byleth is not sure if they have any other options. They have proven their strength time and again, but nobody has any real experience battling the Immaculate One, and so, there is not much that they can build on, no hints that they can use to form a better strategy. They will simply have to give it all they have- she, Edelgard, and even Hubert, have to agree on that, ready to put an end to this war, which has already gone on for far too long.

“And then,” Edelgard says hopefully, “we can start to focus on making real changes. Both outside of the Empire...and within.”

It will hopefully be the last time that Byleth has to fight people that she knows from her days at the monastery, back when the Church still controlled the land. She knows that Dimitri will defend his kingdom, and that Dedue will be at his side, as he has always been. Rhea will surely have Catherine and Cyril there to defend her, and Gilbert will remain loyal to his king and to his “goddess” until the end, even knowing that his own daughter falls on the other side.

But Byleth will not be alone, either. Always, she has leant her support to Edelgard, just as Hubert does, and she has her students, those that she chose, who remained loyal to her in the end, and the students that chose  _ her _ , transferring to her class so that they could continue to follow her until the very end. Her fellow professors, the knights who chose to leave the Church because she and Jeralt did.

And of course, she has her father, as she always has, the one person she will always be able to count on and depend on, who has sworn to protect her the same as she has sworn to protect him. They are so close to finally being able to have the peaceful life that they have been waiting for, and when the war is over, though she knows that it will be some time before they know true peace, she hopes that they will one day be able to truly be together as lovers are, even if it is somewhere far away from here.

The two of them have wandered for as long as she has been alive, so not staying in one place does not sound all that unappealing, after being rooted to Garreg Mach for so long, and there are places outside of Fodlan that she has never seen, and has become much more interested in, after meeting some of the people that she has at the monastery. There is a lot that she wants to see, so perhaps after this, with Jeralt at her side, she will be able to.

But before any of that can happen, she first has to face off against Dimitri, and Rhea herself. She first has to bring down the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus, and the Church of Seiros, all in one go, and though she is hardly doing any of this alone, it will still be difficult, no matter how many numbers that they have on their side.

At the very least, she can count on Jeralt to remain at her side.

~X~

Jeralt knows that these fights are wearing on his daughter, that she is giving this everything that she has, and that she is worn out, tired of having to fight familiar faces, tired of watching those around her fall, and tired of this war. But still, she keeps fighting, making him proud as she sticks to her convictions, never allowing herself to falter, no matter how it may wear on her.

Sticking close by her side, he can see the horror on her face when she witnesses Dedue’s transformation, giving his life to become a demonic beast in the hopes that he can aid Dimitri’s cause, only to be cut down by former classmates, Ashe, Mercedes, and Annette in tears as they kill the man who was once their friend. He can see the pain in her eyes as she charges Dimitri with Edelgard close behind her, the two of them determined to put a stop to this, as quickly as possible.

He can see her disgust when Rhea finally shows her face, calling herself Seiros as she enters the battlefield, attempting to turn the tides before retreating into the city, ready to change tactics and lure them inside. Byleth is so tired of it all, but still she continues to fight, and he is endlessly proud of her, and proud of the decisions that she has made. It is only because of his pride that he has not forced her to abandon the cause already, all so that he can take her somewhere far away to protect her from all of the fighting.

But nothing can compare to the moment when the city is set aflame, all to hinder their forward progress. No one is able to escape the city first, all in the hopes that they can make it difficult for the imperial forces to take the city. It is clear now that the archbishop does not care what sacrifices that she has to make, just as long as she is able to win. Potential victory outweighs all of the losses along the way, but then, can they really say that their side has been innocent all along either?

Whatever the case, now is not the time to internally debate such things. They are at the end of it all, the final battle between the Church and the Empire, between the archbishop and the emperor, between the ancient beliefs of Fodlan, and a future that sees no need for a goddess. It is a long and difficult fight, stretching their forces as thin as possible, with their most skilled steadily chipping away at the Immaculate One, looking for any signs of weakness while enduring her attacks.

That means that he and Byleth are at the center of the action, aiding Edelgard directly as she is now moments away from achieving what she has working for all these years. It is slow progress, but they weaken her and weaken her until she can hardly stand, until she can’t manage to fight back any more. The final blow has to be timed perfectly, Byleth and Edelgard moving almost as one, launching themselves at Rhea- at Seiros- so that they can put an end to the false church once and for all.

But then Jeralt, watching all of this, feels strange, a moment of weakness, growing so dizzy for a moment that he feels as though he could collapse, only returning to his senses when he hears Edelgard cry out, and looks up, realizing that Byleth actually has collapsed, that she is in Edelgard’s arms, that she is not responding. As if she is dead, and  _ if _ she is dead, then it has to be for real this time, because he can see her body, she has not simply disappeared, but rather, fallen right in front of him.

Edelgard is holding her and sobbing, her head against Byleth’s chest. There is no heartbeat, but there has never been a heartbeat, but if she doesn’t have a pulse, then that would mean the same thing. Jeralt’s mind is running wild, and he can’t make sense of what is happening, or make sense of his own thoughts. Why is he dwelling on what Edelgard must be realizing? Why can’t he move closer, and why can’t he move at all? He should be the one holding her, because if she wakes up, he wants her to see him, and he wants to be the first to know that she has woken up. Why wouldn’t she wake up? He never even saw her get injured, and he was by her side all along.

He has been watching her and protecting her, so what happened? She can’t be dead, because nothing happened that could have killed her. How can she possibly be dead? After everything that they have been through together, this was not supposed to be where it ended. They were supposed to have so much more time together, they were supposed to be making up for the years that she was missing. She was supposed to stick around to protect him, like she always, so stubbornly, swore that she would. He is supposed to protect her, no matter what.

Finally, he wills his legs to move, feeling numb with every step, until he falls to his knees beside Edelgard, his voice a bare whisper as he says, “Let me see her.”

Without question, the sobbing woman hands his limp daughter to him, and he holds her, resting his head against her chest as he gives into his own sobs. This can’t actually be real. Not after everything that they have overcome, this can’t be where it all finally ends. He will not let go of her, not until she wakes up again, not until she can stand on her own and leave with him, hand in hand. The future that she fought for is finally starting to come true, can’t she see that?

He refuses to let go of her, and there is no way of knowing just how much time passes like that, holding her limp and lifeless body, until he suddenly hears something from her chest, something that he at first thinks that he is imagining. He hears Byleth’s heart start to beat.


	12. Chapter 12

When Byleth wakes up, she is terrified, for a moment. It is the deepest sleep that she can remember having in a while, and she is terrified that, once again, she fell asleep on the battlefield only to wake up years later. And she knows that she was on the battlefield, she can remember those last moments before she collapsed, and she is so afraid that she has lost more time, and that this time, nobody waited for her. She and her father were so close to the life that they were fighting for, and if she really left him again, if she really disappeared to sleep for another five years, then…

“She’s awake!” a voice she thinks she recognizes calls out, but things are so fuzzy right now that it is hard to place it. But then, another voice responds, a voice that she knows she recognizes, and everything begins to come into focus.

“Kid?” Jeralt leans over her, coming into her line of sight. “Are you finally done napping?” He asks it in such a casual tone, and yet when she looks up at him, she can see the tears in his eyes, and knows that he is only putting on a front, either for the sake of the others present, or so that she does not worry about him while he is worrying about her.

In the moment, she does not care if she lost time or not, just as long as he is here with her again. No matter what may have happened while she was asleep, as long as he is here with her, she knows that everything is going to be just fine. She throws her arms around him and sobs, wondering when she became such a crybaby after spending her entire childhood completely tearless. He holds her close, and she knows that, if there were not witnesses, he would have kissed her by now. It takes all of her self-control not to kiss him.

~X~

Eventually, she is able to figure out that it has only been a few hours, rather than a few years. She passed out or something, right around the time that they killed the archbishop at last, effectively putting an end to the war. There are still things to clean up right now, and even more things to handle politically in the coming weeks, but for the most part, the conflict between the Adrestian Empire, and the rest of Fodlan, has finally come to a close.

“What happened to you?” Jeralt asks, not for the first time since she has woken up, but Byleth still has no real answer to that. All she knows is that her chest felt tight and things went dark, and when she woke up, she was afraid that she had slept for years again. When she tries to recount that, she rests a hand over her chest, her eyes widening as she looks up at him.

“Do I have a heartbeat now?” she asks, not sure why she expects him to have an answer, but he nods.

“We thought you were dead at first, Edelgard and I. But when I was holding you, your…your heart just started beating, for the first time in your life,” he says. “I don’t know what happened, but I can guess that it had something to do with whatever she did to you when you were born. She’s dead now, and we won’t ever be able to ask her about it.”

“That’s alright,” Byleth replies, and it is. She realizes that she no longer cares so much about answers, not with the perspective that she has gained simply from nearly losing everything, from having to fear that she had lost years of her life simply because she closed her eyes. And she has a heartbeat now, so something broken inside of her has been fixed, when she never before thought that was possible.

“That’s not the only thing,” he says. “You look, uh…well, you look beautiful, of course, but you look…like you did before.” For whatever reason, he seems to have a hard time phrasing it, but she understands what he is saying even before she takes a strand of hair between her fingers to see that it is no longer the bright, almost white shade of green that it had become the day Sothis gave her power over to her. It is the color she was born with, the color that she has been told her mother’s hair is.

“Are my eyes the same now too?” she asks, and Jeralt nods. “So…perhaps it was Sothis protecting me again? Or something to do with…the archbishop’s death, putting an end to whatever connection I may have had to her.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to hearing you talk about the goddess like an old friend,” he says, shaking his head.

“She is, though. At least, that’s how it feels now.” Even saying it, Byleth feels a little ridiculous, but she knows that it is true, that for some time, the being that spoke to her inside of her mind, that only she could see, the one that shared her name with the Church’s goddess and possessed great power, was a friend of hers, and that she would not have made it this far without her.

“Just don’t ever scare me like that again. Seriously, I thought we were done with the scares,” he says. “You might not know this since yours didn’t work before now, but stuff like that isn’t good on the heart, especially not an old heart like mine.”

“Did you just work an old joke into a joke about me not having a heartbeat?” she asks, and he shrugs, a smile on his face.

“Couldn’t help it.”

“Then you can’t blame me when I make old jokes about you anymore.”

“Can’t I? The jokes are only funny when I make them, Byleth,” he teases her. Now that she is a bit more awake, she knows that the others in this makeshift tent are some of the healers, who must have been tending to her while she slept. The two of them can at least tease each other playfully even with an audience, but she already finds herself impatient for when they will be able to be alone together, a brief moment of rest at the end of a great war, before their war in the shadows will begin.

~X~

It is very difficult for the two of them to get any time to themselves, because everyone, it seems, wants some time with Byleth once they have heard that she has woken up. And even after that, there is the long march back to the monastery- and eventually, to Enbarr, though Byleth claims that she needs to stay back to rest up for a little bit, before finally joining Edelgard in the capital. It is not entirely a lie; though she could likely keep up throughout the entire trip, she _is_ rather tired, and that makes for a very good excuse to have some undisturbed time with her father.

He comes to her room on their first night back, right when she begins thinking about sneaking off to his room. Now that they are alone again, they can actually talk about what happened, and say the things that needed to be said. But the first thing that he does is kiss her, hard and fierce, the way she thinks he must have wanted to when she first woke up. Byleth clings to him, even after he has finally pulled out of the kiss, resting her face against his shoulder then, wishing that she never had to let go.

“You can’t keep scaring me like that. You know I have nothing without you,” he says, his voice quiet.

“I came back to you,” she replies. “And I will always come back to you. How else am I going to protect you?”

His grip on her tightens. “I felt like I failed to protect you, again. It seems like you’re the one that needs protection, anyway. How many times have you scared me like that? And how many times have I had a near-death experience? Counting when you went off for vengeance and came back with bright green hair and the powers of the goddess, I would say you have me beat, three to one.”

Byleth pulls out of the embrace only so that she can kiss him again, the only way she knows how to shut him up. There are things that they could say to each other now, that could not be said in front of the others, but this seems much more important now, a way to express their feelings without words, something else that can only happen behind closed doors. He nearly lost her again today, and in that way, she nearly lost him. They have to remind one other that they are still alive, that they are still here, that they will always be together.

He can undress her so quickly, and whether that comes from his experience as her father or her lover, it does not matter. As long as he has her on her back in what feels like seconds, kneeling between her legs, his face between her thighs as he uses his tongue to show her what he is trying to say. And Byleth responds with only moans, weak and pathetic and entirely his, exhausted but so needy, and still afraid, always afraid, of falling asleep without doing as much as they possibly can, just in case she does not wake up like she is supposed to.

Though she thinks that fear might start to go away, now that her heart functions properly, now that the power of Sothis has likely left her for good, but that brings about new fears as well. But in this moment, any scary things that might come from the change are not important, because she has one constant in her life, something that never changes, someone that has been at her side from the beginning.

“Stop,” she breathes, already close and wanting more than just this. “I want…I want you, I want to…” Even after all this time, it is still difficult for her to say it out loud, but he knows what she means. He stands so that he can get on top of her, and as he smiles down at her, she feels at home again.

No matter what may change and no matter where they may go, he will always be the one constant in her life. She will always be home when she is with her father, when she can look to his smile and know that everything is just fine. With her arms and legs wrapped around him, as if trying to hold him down and keep him on top of her forever, she holds tight and lets him have his way with her.

He is not rough with her tonight, despite his fear of losing her, despite the impulse to confirm that everything is still real. Tonight, he is gentle and tender, because she _is_ still here, and this is all still real, and he did not lose her. They are so tired now, and have been through so much, but there is an end in sight now, and they have seen it through together. Together, they will continue to see it through.

Jeralt says none of this, and yet Byleth understands it all perfectly as she loses herself in his touch, as she gives into him and holds tight to him, so in love with him that she can hardly contain it at all, and it is a wonder that they have ever been able to keep their feelings a secret. But they are quickly approaching the future that they have both been fighting for, so perhaps there is a chance that they will be able to find a place for their feelings in that new future.


	13. Chapter 13

There are so many matters to settle now, and Edelgard is greatly in need of support, support that Byleth is more than willing to offer her. She and Jeralt remain loyal to their emperor, offering any support needed, and all the while, their battles have not ended yet.

It takes some time for Byleth to recover enough to be ready to join Hubert in his underground assaults, but Jeralt is by her side when she does, the two of them working together and protecting one another, and ensuring that their vengeance is properly carried out. Through Hubert’s strategy and guidance, they are able to finally make a difference against the group that has controlled the Empire from the shadows for years, pushing them back slowly, working to make sure that Edelgard, that the world, is finally liberated from their control.

It becomes closer and closer, the world that she has dreamed of, and the world where Byleth and her father can finally know peace. At times, they wonder what would have happened if they had never been brought back to the monastery, what side that they would have fallen on, or if they would have caught wind of the conflict and left the continent altogether, just to ensure that they were not brought into it, but both have agreed that they are glad that they ended up on the side that they did.

Had they gotten contracted into assisting some noble family’s efforts, or had they stayed completely uninvolved, the outcome may have been entirely different, and, knowing what she does now, Byleth is glad that she chose the side that she did, knowing that she helped to make sure that the right side- as far as she is concerned- won. That is why she has to stay to see this through, until she feels that her work is truly done. Until that day comes, she will remain at the emperor’s side, assisting in any way that she can.

Even so, she does still dream of getting away from all of this someday, a dream that her father shares with her. They still talk about it, still planning for where they will go and what they will see, still not sure where they will end up, only knowing that they are going to end up there together. Still, preferably where no one knows them, and where they can live as a couple at last.

Until then, they are able to continue their relationship in secret like they are used to. If nothing were to ever change for them, they both know that they could be content like this, but knowing that there is a chance for them to change things and live a better life leaves both excited for the future. After all that they have been through together, Byleth can’t help but think that they deserve to have a few things go their way, and to be able to live peacefully, without any more need for fighting.

~X~

Eventually, there comes a day when she has to talk to Edelgard about this idea, however. She knows that her friend and former student wants her to stay at her side from here on out, to continue to assist her in all of her work. Perhaps she even wants Byleth to take part in politics, and so Byleth has to be upfront with her right away, before she lets herself get carried away, making plans that the former professor will not be able to take part in.

“I wanted to talk to you about the future,” Byleth says one day, when she has the chance to be alone with her and have a real discussion.

“You’re going to leave soon, aren’t you?” Edelgard asks, taking Byleth by surprise. This is not what she expected to hear from her. She had expected Edelgard to be completely clueless about her true intentions, and to be surprised by her plans to move on from the Empire as soon as possible, not to already know that what Byleth is planning, and to seem so calm already, as if she has spent a lot of time thinking about it, and has already come to terms with it.

“I think that it would be best,” Byleth replies.

“I’m not going to do anything to stop you, but can I ask why you think that? You’re hardly a controversial figure right now, and I think everyone could benefit a lot from your involvement in my governing. Has someone said something to make you think that you should leave?”

“It’s not like that. I didn’t mean it’s for the best for everyone that I left. In fact, my reasons are entirely selfish,” she confesses. “When I say that it is for the best, I mean that it is the best thing for myself, and for my father.”

“Ah, so the two of you will be leaving together. Well, that makes sense, I figured he would come into the picture.” For a moment, Byleth is irrationally worried that Edelgard has caught onto their secret, but of course, she says nothing of that sort. “I know that the two of you are very close, nearly inseparable. After seeing him come apart after we nearly lost you, I couldn’t imagine him letting you go off on your own. I’m glad that the two of you will be together.”

“You’re not upset that I’ll be leaving?”

“It’s not that. Of course, I will miss you terribly, and of course, there are things that I wish you would be around to help me with, but I know that I can’t rely on you for everything if I am to be a strong leader, and what’s more, I can’t try and hold you back just because I worry that I need your support,” Edelgard explains. “But beyond my own selfish desires to keep you close, I’m happy for you, and for Jeralt as well. I’m happy that you are still close, after all this time, and that you will be able to live together as a family, in peace at last. I think you both deserve that much, at least.”

“Thank you,” says Byleth, not sure what else she should say.

“Not a day goes by that I do not miss my father,” Edelgard continues. “I never even had the chance to be close to him, not like I would have wanted. Things were always so complicated, but I can’t help but think, if they hadn’t been…well, he was my family. I can only hope that I have done enough to make him proud, now that he is no longer with me.”

“I’m sure he would be very proud of you, El. Anyone would be.”

Edelgard smiles then, and Byleth notices, for the first time, the tears in her eyes. “Thank you, that means a lot. You see? What am I going to do, without you here to keep my head on straight?”

“And what about Hubert? He might not be too happy to hear you say something like that.”

“You of all people know how much Hubert means to me. Of course, I know I’ll be just fine as long as I have him, I just got used to having the both of you. I’ll just miss having you here, is all. But when you are ready to go, I will not do anything to hold you back. I want you to live happily, you and your father both.”

For a moment, there feels as if there is an understanding between them, as if Edelgard does understand the truth of the matter, and the real reason why Byleth and Jeralt are so inseparable, but she is sure that that is just her imagination. Certainly, she would never ask Edelgard about that, nor would she do anything to expose herself, just the same as she is sure Edelgard would never reveal that she knew, unless it were to condemn them for their behavior.

Whatever the case, Edelgard understands, at least ton some degree, how important that their bond is, and she is supportive of their dream, not wanting to hold them back from it, no matter how important they may be to her, and that is more than enough for Byleth. She will certainly miss the emperor when they have to go their separate ways, and she hopes that they will have the chance to see each other again someday.

~X~

Time passes, with their days busy, filled with all sorts of work, whether it be political, assisting Edelgard in her work, or whether it be the underground battles that Hubert leads them into, or whether it be assisting Hanneman in his research, as he tries to figure out what happened to her when they defeated Rhea, and if that could have any connection to what he is trying to research now- the safe removal of crests.

Every day, it seems that there is something new and urgent for at least one of them to attend to, but they still keep their eyes forward, waiting for the day that their work here will be done. At times, Jeralt will joke that they will never run out of excuses to keep he and Byleth close by, but she reminds him of Edelgard giving them her blessing, and she knows that Edelgard would never go back on her word, not with something that important. It is only a matter of time before they will be on the road, on the search for their next home.

The two of them will quickly be able to become ordinary. Byleth no longer has her rare crest or the power of the goddess, and Jeralt will no longer be revered as a great captain. By this point, even his mercenary group has all but fallen into obscurity, what with how long he spent serving the emperor, and he has left Leonie to do what she will with his name and his group and his legacy. He and Byleth will be nobodies, just ordinary people, travelers on a long journey, until they finally find somewhere to settle, and nothing could suit them better.

“Do you remember the ring I gave your mother?” he asks her one day.

“Are you finally going to give it to me?” she asks in return, and he shakes his head.

“You don’t leave anything to be a surprise, do you, kid? When you were younger, I hoped that one day you might give it to someone that you wanted to spend your life with, but then, things happened, and we…well, you already know all about that part,” he says. “I have wanted to give it to you, for a long time, but I didn’t want it to raise any questions. But now that we’ll be traveling, I thought you could wear it.”

“Can I wear it before we leave?” she asks him, and before he can protest this, she says, “On a necklace, or something like that? I know I can’t wear it on my ring finger, but I can hide it if it’s on a necklace.”

“Then I’ll get you a necklace,” Jeralt replies, with a warm and proud smile.

~X~

Finally, the day has come for their journey to begin. Byleth has had to go through tearful goodbye after tearful goodbye, her more emotional students clinging to her before they can send her off, while her more reserved students still seem to have a hard time hiding their sadness. While Jeralt says his goodbyes to Alois and Leonie, promising not to disappear from their lives completely, Byleth takes her time with Edelgard, while promising her the same thing.

And then the two of them are off, and when they are facing away, heading towards a still unknown destination, Byleth pulls the necklace out, so that the ring is resting against her chest. Someday, she will be able to wear it on her finger.

And then, once they are far enough away that they know there is no longer anyone watching them, they join hands, walking hand in hand as they continue their journey.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're interested in my writing updates, please follow my fanfiction twitter @WattStalf  
> 


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